IF THEY DON’T WANT TO HAND YOU OVER, HAND YOURSELF OVER
I DO NOT CONSIDER A MAN WHO HITS HIS WIFE TO BE A TRUE MAN
ABUSE CAN BE VERBAL, EMOTIONAL OR PHYSICAL
MANY OF THE THINGS CALLED ABUSE, THE SIGNS ARE FOUND IN COURTSHIP
GIVE ZERO ALLOWANCE FOR ABUSE
- Pastor Paul Enenche on ‘DIMENSIONS OF WISDOM’ ||Dunamis International Gospel Centre
Give Zero Allowance for Abuse!
Many of the things called abuse, the signs are found in courtship. Many!
There are some that escaped and the people only find out that the man is very terrible or the woman as the case may be, because there are times you say, ‘who beat you?’ My husband. Church Gist. At times it’s, ‘who beat you?’ My wife (laughs). Zero allowance!
Now, there are degrees of abuse. It could be verbal, where, after the person has finished talking to you, you don’t need cane. Church Gist. How many of you have heard such? (laughs) Their word is worse than naked wire. There are those who have rendered their wife or their husband a shadow of themselves, this girl has no confidence in public. ‘Is it because I’m managing you? Look at you wretched family people. Is it not me who came to your family and made sense in your family? Look at you.’ Church Gist. By the time they finish talking to this girl or the man as the case may be, at times they feel like dying. There are people who have felt like that; it’s verbal.
Some it is emotional. They are not talking but their silence is worse than their words. Church Gist. They pass as if you don’t exist.
‘Welcome sir’ mm hmm
‘Had a great day at work?’ Mmmm
Emotional! And the emotional things at times can go into deprivation, and I’ll come to that shortly. They are smiling with everybody but once his wife arrives he keeps a straight face as if an enemy just arrived; very brutal. Church Gist. Some deprive their partners, wife especially, of relationship- months, years, passing. As if a stone is not existing. May be they are finding it out somewhere, maybe they have an outside arrangement that is attending to that need of their life and they are living with a stone and they don’t care whether she gets anything or not – mental!
And the final is physical. I don’t consider a man to be a man who can carry a hand and slap a woman, he is not a man. Church Gist. The same person that God gave you to cover, to protect, to defend. Maybe they are finding help from outside there, this girl is just dying.
You know what happened to me one day, my wife came home. When we came to Abuja newly, she was still practising medicine because she practised about a year and half before she joined me full time. Church Gist. She came home one day crying and I said to her what happened? Her colleague medical doctor, a man, looked for her trouble in the office. I said, ‘what? Me that is the owner of the wife (laughs) I am not making her to cry, its stranger that want to make her cry? And you are a man like myself? They haven’t born you yet.’ I entered the car and drove like Jehu, vhrooo oooo until I reached the place. ‘Show me the man!’ Church Gist. When I finished with the man, no physical exchange, he didn’t last in that work for two more weeks and I didn’t talk to anybody to sack him – my presence sacked him.
Then someone is enjoying the tears of his wife. I say I don’t consider a man a man who can carry hand hit the wife. Church Gist. If you are interested in fighting there are many agbero boys in area 1 motor park (laughter). They are waiting for fight, very high on ganja. That is where to go; or go to Kaduna road and enter the bush and say you are looking for those who used to catch people. Go to where they are lifting weight, see somebody say, ‘I’m looking for who to hit or who can hit me.’ There are some who will hit you with one hand, you won’t wake up. And you know, sometimes you don’t need to hit the woman before you say you beat her. Church Gist. If you hold her hand like this (demonstrates), and you hold it tight small (laughter). ‘He has been beating me since (laughter).’ ‘What happened? He held my hand in fact if you touch the hand now you can see the mark.’ Hallelujah!
This is my counsel, if you are tired with anybody’s child, hand them over to their parents. You took them from somewhere, hand them over there in dignity. Church Gist. And if they don’t want to hand you over, hand yourself over. This is because there are some who could even be addicted to the abuse. They are just addicted, there is a syndrome; addicted to the maltreatment. This is the place where a family comes in.
- This will never be your portion!
No verbal, emotional, physical, it’s not allowed, zero allowance! Church Gist. Life is too short to live it in tension. Do you hear what I just said? It’s too short to live it in tension!
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