David’s Christian Centre, Lagos, Nigeria
“I’ve always been conscious of the fact that I made those vows before God, I made those vows to God, not necessarily to my husband. I promised God that I was going to stand by him (my husband), I promised God that I was going to always be there for him, I promised God that I was going to submit to him and make leadership easy for him. I promised God that I was going to work with him to achieve everything that God has called us to do. I promised God that I was going to give it my all, my 100 percent. So, whether I feel like it or not, I’ve learnt to wake up every morning and be consistent in keeping my vows not necessarily how I feel because feelings are fickle, your feelings would change but your vows should always be front in you. Wake up everyday and remember that ‘these are the things I promised to do’ and make sure that you do them.” – Pastor Mildred
Fondly called Pastor M, in her words “I may not be your typical stereotype ‘pastor’s wife’ but I totally and completely love the lord Jesus Christ. We’ve been in this love relationship for 28 years now.” Born on 26th September 1978 to the family of Mr Michael and Patricia Chijide, Mildred Isioma has evolved from the lady who felt she didn’t quite fit into a Pastor’s wife image to a vibrant Pastor, down to earth Pastor’s wife and Relationship Coach.
She is married to Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo and is the co-Pastor of David’s Christian Centre. She is also involved in the Media department of the Church having bagged her first degree in English Arts from Obafemi Awolowo University and Master’s degree in International Law and Diplomacy (MILD) from the University of Lagos, with work experience in the Media before her gradual transition into full time ministry.
Having experienced infertility in the early years of her marriage, she is an advocate of infertility and uses her platform to raise awareness on it. At the age of 16, Pastor M was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and told her husband she may never be able to have children when he proposed to her. However, Pastor Kingsley’s response was faith based, “I’m not marrying you for children I’m marrying you because I love you but you will have my children.”
The journey to motherhood wasn’t easy on her in the first 3 years of her marriage in which she oscillated between crying, worrying and praying faithless emotional prayers until she settled down in 2008 to build her faith on God promises in the Bible and books by Bishop David Oyedepo (You Shall Not Be Barren) and Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize. Even though she was convinced in her mind that her prayers had been answered in 2008, she still had to go through an additional waiting period of 5 years, before the delivery of her miracle ‘Twins’ (same date of birth but different years). In the process, the couple adopted their first girl Hadassah who clocked 9 on 13th April 2020 while the ‘twins’ Davida and David celebrated their 7th and 5th birthday respectively on 22nd August 2020.
She also had to endure some cutting remarks during her waiting period. In her words, “I endured rumours, side remarks, sarcastic comments and constant ‘you people are still doing honeymoon?, ‘when will you start having children?’ Sometimes from total strangers. If it wasn’t so annoying it would be hilarious. I felt like telling them, ‘I’m a Nigerian. Nigerian women get married and have babies and if after five, six, seven, years I don’t have a baby then you should have figured it out by now….it’s because I can’t!”
She celebrated her 15th wedding anniversary on 2nd September 2020 and shared 15 lessons she has learnt in her marital journey which include:
– Marriage is the responsibility of two people.
– You must consistently put your vows before your feelings.
– Remember that you are on the same team
– No secrets
– Marriage is work: even though marriage is work, don’t make it work (a chore)
Asides pulpit ministry, she is the founder of ‘Just Us Girls Global Network’ and convener of the annual ‘When Women Worship’ and ‘Just Us Girls’ conferences. Pastor M is also a prolific writer and some of her books are ‘Chayil: Secrets of A Virtuous Woman’; ‘Waiting For Isaac’; ‘Just Us Girls’; A to Z of Marriage (co-authored with Kingsley Okonkwo)
Sources: Mildred Kingsley-Okonkwo Online, Chiomah’s blog, Redigion online
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