THE FACT THAT WHAT YOU DID ACHIEVED WHAT YOU WANTED DOES NOT MAKE IT A SCRIPTURAL PATTERN.
PRAYING IN TONGUES CAN NEVER TAKE THE PLACE OF LABOUR.
AS BELIEVERS, WE ARE NOT RULED BY FEELINGS. WE ARE RULED BY THE WORD OF GOD.
WHEN PEOPLE STAND TO INSULT ME, THE ONLY THING I THINK OF IS HOW TO HELP THEM COME OUT OF THEIR WRONG IDEOLOGIES.
THERE ARE PEOPLE YOU SHOULDN’T LISTEN TO; OTHERWISE, YOU WILL END UP DESTROYING YOUR HOME.
YOU CANNOT USE MODERN WISDOM TO CONQUER AN ANCIENT devil.
INSULTING OTHERS IN THE NAME OF COMMUNICATING THE TRUTH IS NOT THE GOSPEL.
ONE OF THE ISSUES IN THE BODY OF CHRIST TODAY IS THE WAY THE TRUTH IS BEING COMMUNICATED.
DOING ALL THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY HAVE CONSEQUENCES; SOME WILL DESTROY YOU.
DON’T BUILD YOUR HOME ON MEDIA STANDARDS OR MOVIE KNOWLEDGE; IT HAS CONSEQUENCES.
THE IDEOLOGY ON SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT THE BIBLE.
ALL THE TIME MY WIFE WARNED ME AND I USED MY EGO TO SAY NO, I FELL INTO TROUBLE; WOMEN KNOW TROUBLE BEFORE THEY COME.
THE devil IS RAISING A CAMPAIGN TO GET MEN OUT OF THE EQUATION OF FAMILIES.
PEOPLE’S LIVES WILL BE BETTER IF THEY BELIEVE WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THE BIBLE LIKE THEY BELIEVE WHAT IS ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
MARRIAGE IS WARFARE, STAND YOUR GROUND IN THE PLACE OF BELIEVING AND CONFESSING.
I LED A MUSLIM TO CHRIST AND GAVE HIM A NEW NAME, ABRAHAM.
I ACCEPT BEING CRITICIZED FOR WHAT I’M TEACHING, BUT LET A GENERATION HEAR MY VOICE!
AS A WOMAN, BEING SUBMITTED TO A MAN DOESN’T MAKE YOU A LESSER BEING; YOU ARE FUNCTIONING ACCORDING TO A PATTERN.
THE INTERNET COMMUNITY THAT VALIDATES YOUR WRONGDOING WILL NOT SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES WITH YOU.
- Apostle Femi Lazarus on “FROM DYSFUNCTIONALITY TO FUNCTIONALITY: THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES” || Sphere of Light Church, Abuja || 19th May 2024 ||
Today, I’m teaching – still on the principal Topic ‘FROM DYSFUNCTIONALITY TO FUNCTIONALITY.’ I’m teaching on the subtopic titled: ‘THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES.’ Church Gist. And I want us to pay very important attention even to this. Amen!
Exodus 25:29. God was telling Moses in a nutshell that what you are to build, there is a pattern. The pattern exists in the Spirit realm. God said, I have shown you. So your duty is to duplicate according to that pattern. So there is a pattern for godly living. There is a pattern for pastoring a Church. Church Gist. If you are going to be a leader, there is a scriptural pattern. If you are working under your boss, there is a scriptural pattern. We don’t model things up. You don’t pray in tongues when you should work. Nobody can be blackmailed and like the Gen Zs would call it gaslighted (Am I correct?) with the fact that you are not doing things according to pattern.
In Romans 12:1, when the Bible says “I beseech you therefore that you present your bodies a living sacrifice holy and acceptable unto God.” He said, “this is your reasonable service.” So, it means that (just contextually), it is only reasonable that if you are married, you present your bodies. If you marry somebody and you don’t touch the person, the Bible is saying ‘it is not reasonable.’ Church Gist. So if you want to be a Reverend Father, be one. If you are going to be married, be married. Say, I hear. I’m not going to face you today. You will be fine. I might – something will push me. Do you understand what I’m saying? And (you) say, “you know I am married but I just love the Lord. I just can’t imagine me touching you.” Why? (Speaks in tongues) Oga, we will flog you (laughs). You are not building according to pattern. Tell your neighbour, there is a pattern. Tell your neighbour again, there is a godly pattern for building.
So, today (let me say this) it is an amazing Service because all branches of Sphere of Light Church are connected here as we speak. All our Centers – from Ibadan to Kano, to Abeokuta, to Lagos Mainland, to Lekki, to London, across board; Moro, Ghana – people in Accra are connected also. Let’s give them a big big hand. Church Gist. We just want to say we love all of you and we are blowing kisses from Abuja, catch it if you can. Amen!
So, there is a pattern. Things will go bad when we deviate from the pattern. There are things that people have no business dealing with if they will stay with pattern. Is that okay now? People have no business dealing with…! Church Gist. For instance, when Rachel said, I don’t have a child. Jacob, take Bilhal, that’s not pattern. The Fellow they learnt that pattern from was Sarah. And Leah saw that, ‘oh, you gave our husband, your maid. Oh, me too, I give him my maid too.’ That’s not pattern. The fact that something has been repeated over time, doesn’t make it a godly pattern.
I can’t remember who was sharing a story with me of a man – his wife went to report him to a marriage counselor that my husband used to beat me. So, the man said, my wife is too troublesome. She will misbehave and do all those things and he will be looking. So one day, he got frustrated and just pounced on her and beat the hell out of the woman. Church Gist. She was on the floor crying and when she got up, she asked him, ‘what do you want to eat?’ So, the man thought to himself and said, “ah, so this is the way to restore your factory setting” and from that moment, he began to beat the wife. The fact that what you did achieved what you wanted does not make it (a) scriptural pattern. There are things that may work but they are bad. That, “do you know me? I don’t take nonsense from any man. If my husband is trying to do anything, I know how I silence him. You are the one that is taking that nonsense.” You may silence him but you can’t silence God. “You see my wife, all I have to do is to stop sending her money for like 2 months. She will adjust.” She may adjust but you must understand that you will answer before God. Because marriage is to typify the pattern of relationship between the Church and Christ.
Anybody who knows me will tell you, this Man is not a relationship preacher. We are repairing broken bridges and we are going to move from there. Church Gist. Say, I hear. So there are patterns and we must build according to that pattern.
One of the things we learnt from the beginning was that the devil hates good patterns and he likes to offset balances. Psalm 82:1-5. So, the moment there is no illumination, we will offset balances. Let me tell you this, one of the ways you know you are living according to the pattern of Scriptures is that you don’t do things that benefit you. Church Gist. You have been bought with a price. No! If everyone should do what they want to do, there will be chaos; there will be destruction. Somebody said, an eye for an eye will make the World go blind or something like that. Am I correct? Do you know the things you want to do? There are times you don’t even want to see the next day.
We are not ruled by feelings. We are ruled by the Word of God. That’s our light. That’s the Revelation that governs our existence. Where I’m going this Morning with this Teaching, there will be issues o. Church Gist. Please just follow me. Say it loud and clear ‘I choose to build according to pattern. I choose to live by the dictates of the Word.
1 Peter 5:8. So the Bible is saying that the devil keeps looking around; he’s looking for whom he may devour. So, sometimes you will want to ask. If there is a problem in the home, there is a whom he wants to devour – there is a person. See, the devil doesn’t just strike, if you don’t know why he is around, you will keep hosting him. You need to know why. Why are we having this problem now? Why are we having this dispute now? Church Gist. Why are we having this argument now? Why is this fight…? Some people fight at the hem of (their) breakthrough and just when they get into that, the breakthrough will not go through again. The devil – we are dealing with a very smart being. We are dealing with a being that is ancient and you must understand that you need the wisdom of God that is also ancient to deal with that being. You cannot get modern wisdom to conquer an ancient devil. There is an ancient wisdom and the wisdom is the wisdom of Scriptures.
There is nothing anybody wants to tell you that is new. The Bible is clear. There are things that humility will deal with effortlessly. The attempt to go another route is to build out of pattern and it will bring chaos. So the devil is out to…and you see, I have shown you before that lions don’t attack animals in groups. They wait for the isolated ones; they wait for the wounded ones. Church Gist. Meaning that you are mostly likely to fall into trouble when you have wounds that are not healed because that puts you back. It puts you back in a system that you are alone with your own thoughts. Have you seen people post things like ‘alone with my thoughts?’ No! You should not be alone with your thoughts. It is dangerous because at that point, you are going to begin to think about things that have mixed with your experiences and pain and bitterness and there you are wondering.
You can laugh with your spouse, enter into the room alone with your thoughts and come back seeing him as a beast. Because at that moment of isolation, the devil has been able to attack your mind; he has been able to fight your thinking. What he wants to do is to put filters…(asks for glasses). Whatever the colour of this room is, the moment I wear…(‘I know say I fine.’ I know. You are taking pictures – snap me). Church Gist. Now wait, it doesn’t matter what the colour of this room is, the moment I put this (glasses) on, what I see with is this. This alters my perception of this reality. This is a reality (the glasses), this is for the moment. Pain is like this (putting on the glasses), it alters your perception about a reality. You look at the person and you can no longer see the person you used to love. No! You actually still love the person but there is something altering your reality. And that’s the same way wrong counsels work.
There are elderly people that should not be listened to. Elihu said, “I thought that multitude of age should teach wisdom.” But it is not always so because fools too survive. Foolishness kills but some fools survive and they live long. And the fact that people have podcasts and have things to say about certain genders and certain things doesn’t make them good. Church Gist. They may be eloquent but if you take those ideologies, they will destroy your home. You check, all the screenshots you have on your phone, they are a confirmation of your thought process and where you are going. ‘No gree for any man’ and this this; you saved it because you agreed. The day somebody will do something that will confirm that reality, you will flip it out and then upload it on your status. And then they are asking you, ‘who is that for?’ You say, ‘no, no, I was just thinking to myself.’ ‘Na lie!’ I always advise people, when you are offended, stop posting status, you will bleed on it. Are you following what I’m saying here?
You check, who are you listening to? What is the thought process you are running with? There are men who believe that if you tell your wife everything about your life, she will use it against you. See, don’t just go online and argue. Let’s be smart people. When people talk, look at what they have said – it just shows you the mindset that there is. I teach and when I teach, you can relate with the things that I’m saying because I don’t live in denial – I listen. Somebody can stand and insult me and I’m looking at you and I say “this too exists.” Church Gist. The only thing on my head is this one is just the manifested prototype of many hidden ones – how can we help them? No, I won’t fight you. You say, am I the one you are talking to? No, no – talk! I know you are just a captain of many. So the question is, we go back to the drawing board – this kind. They post something on Instagram, you say, that’s why I hate pastors – this kind, how can we help them? What can we do? Give us the wisdom to reach them. Because ideologies – they form the filters with which we perceive life and if they go bad, your perception will be bad.
Let me teach you a principle. One of the things that I do as a leader that has protected my heart over the years even when there is hurt, somebody has done something bad and this is obviously bad and they say, “Apostle, how are you coping with this person?” I simply refused to change my good perception of the person. As long as I refuse to change what I perceive about the person, you cannot get me into offense. You are a good man – I know you are a good man. I know. You are just doing bad stuff. Church Gist. Maybe you had a bad day but you are a good man. Sometimes you will have to hold fast the good things that you believe about your spouse. “You are a good woman. Ah, I know you are a good man but today…sometimes the food has been made and it looked like they gave extra salt as (a) bonanza. Your wife has made it. You look at and say, ‘my chef, my chef, I don’t know who went to fetch the water for this soup from the Red Sea.’ What are you talking about? Is it salty? Actually…soft words will turn away certain wrath per time. Don’t go and tell your wife ‘Red Sea.’ I am innocent. (Laughs) Amen!
So the devil is always looking for things to do to fight individuals, to fight generations, to fight families and to fight people. The Bible said, ‘we should resist him steadfastly.’ Church Gist. When you hear things as thoughts, you hear things as premonition in your heart that you know this is not God, resist the devil. Okay? Resist the devil. I’m going somewhere.
If you look at the Book of 1 Samuel 15, the story of Saul, there is the consequence of forsaking God. Everything has consequences. There is a pattern God created for the society to work, the foundation of that pattern is the family system. Hence, there is a foundation God has designed for the family system to work. Church Gist. The moment there is a deviation from divine pattern, we cannot shy away from the consequences. There is the consequence that my…so, I explained a concept and the concept was gotten wrong. So let me give clarity.
See, there is a consequence of a father missing in a girl’s life, there is the consequence of a father missing in a boy’s life. The father forms the foundation of purity, of affection in the life of a girl. The father is often referred to as the girl child’s first love. If that role is missing in a girl’s life, she develops what is called toxic love addiction. Church Gist. That is, the need to want to be validated by those who love you. It is a reality. No amount of shouting on Apostle Lazarus can change it. It is a reality but God helps. He sets people, He sets the solitary in families. He puts people in places where they can learn. If God has helped you in such a way that you didn’t go certain ways, then God has blessed you. But there are a billion people that will tell you this is true. A girl has finished her semester on campus and there is no home to go to – some boys are going to take advantage of her. It’s the reality.
A man is missing in a boy’s life, he lacks identity. I understand that there are situations that necessitate separation and biblically, there are situations that necessitate divorce. Oh, yes! Don’t wait till anybody kills you. There are but the moment people are going through that route understand that what God has designed for two to nurture, it’s now going to be nurtured by one. What are the likely consequences on the…? Don’t fight ‘no, no, it can’t happen.’ No! That is not intelligence. Church Gist. Understand the likely consequences such that you know you have to go this separate way, how can God help us in the lives of these children so that this consequence will not come to a reality? It is just like the principle of anything that goes up surely comes down. So you now begin to check, what can I do? What can we do? What kind of school can they go to? What kind of Church can they attend? What kind of messages can they listen to?
There is a God who seals up loopholes and He helps us. But you must understand that there are consequences. If you will hit your wife and insult her in front of your children, there is a consequence to that. You say, what about not in front of the children? You beat your wife? And there are women that will beat the husband and will beat the hell out of him. I’m telling you. With your muscles, they will beat you. You are in a relationship and the girl is telling you, ‘I dey warn you now.’ Oh, my God! And you are saying, you know it’s just one of those things. Church Gist. When you are getting married, I have a gift for you – iodine, plaster, paracetamol, bandage, clutches because you will need many of those. We will bind you up many times again and again. There are consequences to all these actions. The moment we fail to build according to pattern, there are consequences. So we stay with patterns.
Let me tell you this. There are people that the moment you marry them, there is the consequence of not checking it through God before you marry them and the consequence is that eventually you may not be able to live together. Yes! You may not be able to check it. If you fail to check it…You see, before you blame people who are single mothers and single fathers, try and understand the kind of person they ran away from. Sometimes, it is important that before this person dies, please separate yourself. And there are matters that even after the separation can no longer be settled by the both of you and pastors. Church Gist. There is a need for family involvement. Somebody has to sign a contract, ‘I will not slap my wife again. I will not do this. I will not go out as a married man and sleep with other girls, if I come back with diseases and kill her…’ We don’t excuse certain things and say, no, no, both of you are believers. No! This is a matter of life and death, let’s talk about it. ‘You say, ‘you two hug your wife, you two hug’ – you have not settled anything. There are consequences.
I told you on Tuesday we are in a generation that your ex boyfriend can be somebody else’s wife. Ex boyfriend! You say, that’s my ex boyfriend but now, he’s somebody or ‘shim’ is somebody else’s wife. Church Gist. Hey, there are consequences for the direction this generation wants to head. Leave us to do anything. Whatever makes you happy, do it – there is a consequence. Do what makes you happy, do what makes you feel good. That’s not the life of someone who will go far.
There are things that make you happy but will destroy you. If we were to attend or to study the courses we studied and go for lectures when we feel like, we would never graduate. Church Gist. By now, I might still be in Part 2. You think I really like exams? I might be busy up and down doing crusades. You say, Apostle, you have first semester – I say, “I’m coming. After all, I can go through this and then graduate whenever I choose to.” But rules and laws are there to protect us from ourselves. Let me tell you something, in boxing and by the way I slept well tonight. Oh, if you don’t know, you don’t know. Forget about that, what do you mean? My wife said, “babe, go and sleep.” I said, I can’t sleep. I need to have an idea of what’s going to happen today. Let’s leave that. We will leave the Jews out of this.
Now in boxing, when two people are fighting and there is a referee in between them, the reason why the referee is there – number one is to maintain the rules of the game. But ultimately the referee is there to protect him (the wrestler) from himself. There is a kind of punch that if he receives twice, his destiny will go on strike. Church Gist. Have you seen where they punched people, the head is one side and the leg is misbehaving? But even in that state, it is possible that a man wants to continue because of ego. But the referee is there saying no, ‘I understand your ego wants to go on but I am here to protect you from yourself. The Word of God is there to protect you from you. There are things I can do…First accept that you can be destructive, accept that you can be bad, accept that you can be rude (and) accept that you have certain tendencies.
You see, when you judge yourself, you will not be judged. So that by the time you start doing certain things and somebody complains, it is something you know that it is something I have the likelihood of. So when your wife says, ‘you keep making decisions without telling me’ because you have already told yourself, you say “it’s true, I’m sorry.” You don’t have to respond to every conversation with arguments. Church Gist. ‘What do you mean now? That’s how the other day too, you said’…no,no! Start by saying, I validate your feelings. So you keep doing such…my wife has big grammar – all these counselors. Sometimes, I don’t know what she’s talking about. ‘This, this is the reality of this’ – it’s true, I validate your feelings provided that after this conversation, I can go back to what I am…I validate your feelings, woman of God. But when you already know yourself that I have this tendency…You see, the reason why you fight when somebody confronts you about what is bad is because you know that it is bad but you have refused to accept the reality. That you have something that is bad doesn’t mean you are bad. It doesn’t mean you are bad but this thing is bad. Your wife has been telling you, whenever you sleep like this, you snore. You say “no, in my family nobody snores.” Don’t wait till she records you. Now she has recorded you now, she’s playing your snore; you say who’s oning generator around here? (Laughs) Are you following what I’m saying here? And you too the wife, don’t tell your spouse, you snore like an elephant.
Let me tell you something, there are things you tell men and you don’t get solutions on because in the place of doing…that you know something he should do well doesn’t mean you must tear him down. Church Gist. No, no! You can be right but on top of your voice, you are wrong. What you are saying is correct but there is an how. The Bible says that, “a good woman builds her house with her hands but a careless one tears it down with her words.” I see people say things like, “who gave you the audacity to talk to women?” The Bible gave me. You think we are going to leave a generation to rot? That’s how we abandoned men years back. No, no! We will tell you once it is Scriptures. Are you following what I’m saying here? When you are going to build, soft words turn away wrath. That’s what the Bible says.
Let me tell you one of the very evident signs of low self esteem. If you know people, one of the ways to know people that (their) esteem is destroyed is that whenever they know something you don’t know, the way they will push it on you – they will try to reduce you with this one knowledge so that they can look better. That you know what I don’t know now doesn’t still make you better and it doesn’t make me better. We are just distinct. This is one of the rudiments for doctrinal fight in the Body of Christ. Now, you have found out that this is true…you see, once the devil can’t stop you from knowing the truth, he can cheat you in the area of communicating the truth with grace. Church Gist. Now you know the truth but the truth you now know is causing injury. Nobody is receiving it because with this same truth, you will insult this one and insult that one. No! That’s not the Bible.
I see some young people arguing – this, this; actually Joshua did not tell the sun to stand. The Earth stopped rotating – we understand that in Geography and Physics. Now that you know it, what should we do about it? When you listen to people, what is their intention as compared to what they have communicated? It is maturity to now put the intention over the communication and accept them from where they are. Church Gist. This is life. If you caught somebody who is wrong today, you can be wrong tomorrow. ‘No, no, you don’t put your shoe here. No! This is the problem with all of you guys. Look at now, people will go outside now, they will think you are a good man.’ On top of shoe? Shoe! Is somebody learning something today? Are you sure? Alright!
Pay attention to this. I want to list a few things that the devil has been able to push on this generation and also show you the consequence that is attached to them.
- There are consequences that come with the mentality of entering into marriage while you perceive yourself or your gender as a victim. Or there is the consequence of having a victim mentality. I will tell you what that means. Victim mentality is when you are getting married or you are in a marriage with the thought that women are always the victim or no, men are always the victim or no, women are at the receiving end. Church Gist. Whatever is happening to women – women this is your own case. Let me tell you the danger of victim mentality. There will be things people will say as a mob because they have similar pain. You don’t have that pain. Understand that you are different. What they are saying as a mob, if you import that consciousness to your home, it will create a system of fear that the pain your mob colleagues have, you will birth it in your own home.
There are people trying to lead an army of women and say to them, no, no (I’m going to get to another very serious point now) women in marriages – women don’t get to enjoy marriage. And there is also another school of thought that you see, women are the ones that enjoy everything; men don’t get to enjoy it. When a man becomes a CEO, he takes care of the mother, where is the father? Church Gist. Mother’s day, Mother’s day – no Father’s day. In all honesty, men are not really built around so many accolades like that. ‘I really don’t have any business with Father’s day, just serve me my food.’ I can’t remember telling my wife, ‘when last did you tell me you love me?’ What’s my business with that? I know you love me, period. If you start talking like that as a man, something is wrong. You say, ‘you have never told me in this house that you love me.’ Now, now, you are putting hands like this (putting hands on the waist). You’ve never told me in this house that…‘you don dey shake chest.’ (Laughs) Men are not wired like this. Men are wired to be strong. We are strong beings. That doesn’t mean we don’t have emotions. That doesn’t mean we don’t like gifts.
My wife promised me that she was going to give me a treat that I preached a good message on Thursday. Church Gist. So after Service, go and meet her, I have not seen my treat. She said, ‘you preached good, I’m bringing prophet’s offering.’ ‘I never see am. I just dey talk so that…’ I dare not hear ‘that that’ thing is a peck. Haba! (Laughs). Amen!
I want to beg you in the name of Jesus Christ every woman under the sound of my voice, the fact that something is happening to women doesn’t mean it will happen to you. Don’t import their pain as a material to build your own homes. I beg you. They may misunderstand the things I teach but you understand me. You are not a victim. You see, when you have that mentality in all honesty, it doesn’t matter how perfect you perceive any home to be, they deal with issues. Church Gist. The day you are dealing with your own issues that can be solved easily – you are going to kill an ant with a sledgehammer because you are perceiving him based on what the women’s movement is saying. And then you say, he’s one of them.
The day you start referring to your husband as ‘men’, then there’s problem. “Ehn, we know, men” That’s an import of certain ideologies and there are men also who believe that only women enjoy the children at the end of the day. So “let me enjoy my life now, let me spend my own money now. Las las, it’s their mother they will remember” and by the time you do that, you will not be as sacrificial as you should be as a leader. Church Gist. This is the divine order, a good man leaves good inheritance for his children. You are not going to live a life that if children have not brought money, you won’t eat. That is the order.
We make sacrifices as men and it may go unnoticed. When people say “We want to celebrate Apostle” Well, I thank God for it and I’m grateful. It’s a privilege to pastor a generation like this, it is an honour but you may never truly know my sacrifices. Church Gist. If I give you an hour to talk, you would say the things you know, you may not know my pain, you may not know the tears before I preach a sermon, you may not know. Church Gist. There are people I love so much, but they hate me and in eternity they will find out that “Somebody loves you oh” So, you may never truly know.
When we begin to have a generation of men who want to flaunt their sacrifices, then we are altering the divine order. The foundation will never come out and say “This is how strong I am” It remains there, that’s the pattern. Church Gist. Oh! Everybody is talking about the fine paint. The paint is still standing because the foundation is there. You see, usually, it is when men leave that their value is truly known in its full essence.
Yoruba have an adage, they will say ‘T’Olodé o ba ku, Ojude ki wu koriko’ If the owner of the house is not dead, you won’t find grass growing outside the house. Men…and the fact that we are designed this way doesn’t mean that God hates us. Church Gist. It is divine order and for everything He has designed you to be, He has given you strength to live with it. Are you following what I’m saying here? He has given you strength.
A woman is to supply care, affection, nurturing in the family. The fact that there are women that married men who used it against them and maltreated them and the women didn’t have anything to themselves at the end of the day doesn’t mean that is the experience you are about to have. Church Gist. Don’t import the pain. Hear their stories, pray for them, but know your journey is unique.
Let me tell you, one of the ways you’ll know you believe what you have not said…let me give you an instance, if you keep thinking about cancer, the day you’ll have stomach pain, you’ll say “Finally, what I feared has come upon me” What I mean is, if you keep thinking about being a victim, the day the man will do something that is not even up to that, you will say “That is it. That is what I’ve been saying. That is what mummy told me. Church Gist. That is what my mother-in-law said. That is what my sister’s husband’s friend said.” Their story is their story, yours is yours.
- You will not go through pain!
Is it possible for your spouse to do something similar to what you have always been afraid of? Yes. But you must understand that marriage is warfare. Church Gist. You stand your ground in the place of believing and confessing. “He will not go that direction in the name of Jesus” I’m telling you.
So, when we have individuals going into marriage or trying to build a family with victim mentality, it will alter your perception about reality, it will alter your responses, it will alter every experience you’re having. Church Gist. You are going to react when you should not react, you are going to say things you should not say and one of the ways you know that is there is that you’ll always be eager to quit, always. Church Gist. There are people who believe that for them to live the fullness of the life they want to live, they must get out from their marriage. So, any small thing, it’s “Let me know if you are done”
How do you say “Yes, I do” and yet you have decided in your heart that there is an option? The extent that people go in argument is sometimes a mirror of the fact that they have alternatives. “No, I’m not looking at for better for worse. If this won’t work, I know what to do, I’ll take a walk” That’s not divine pattern. Church Gist. If you have 20 glass cups and you are drinking water with this one, you may be careless, you may put it at the side of the table where it can fall down and break. But, if this is all there is, there is a way you keep it. The way you handle your spouse, is it reflecting the fact that he is all there is or that she is all there is. We must make a decision. Church Gist. Our problem did not start from the home first, it began from our minds, the mind, the conclusion, the things you are saying, the things you are thinking, the decisions you have made. Amen!
There is the consequence of building your home on media standards, movie knowledge standards. I won’t mention any movie company. “Apostle Lazarus attacks…he’s always doing it” (laughter) There are movies you watch, the moment you watch that movie, at least you need a week to reset again because the movie is bitter, the storyline is painful, somebody has married a girl, the girl was manipulated and this is not your spouse. Church Gist. In fact, it becomes even more dangerous for those who are single. There are many single people that when they hear about this subject they are afraid to death that “You mean, the freedom I have now, one man will come and everything will…” That’s your thought, but that’s not the reality. It is your fears changing your perception.
I am married and I’m not dead. You need to see my picture before I got married, I thought I was fine. One time I looked at my picture, I started asking, “So, this person will break up with somebody and the person will cry. Church Gist. The person should have been happy that this…carry yourself and go” It doth not yet appear what we shall become. True or not true? (Look at him, is he fresh? You shall be fresh. You will not even know that you can have beards till somebody is touching the beards) Alright. So, there is a consequence.
The ideology on social media is not the Bible. The fact that it had 2,000 likes doesn’t mean God likes it, no. You might just have a community of hateful people, of deranged people, who are bandwagon following themselves. Church Gist. There are women and men podcasts you should unfollow now. I know of one platform on Facebook, I won’t mention names, I know the platform, I’m tempted to, but I will not. I don’t know a woman who is on that platform that is not facing problems. I’ve counselled several. Don’t ask me question. People chat…I say “Are you on that platform? Go and delete it” What happens there is that women will come and everybody is sharing painful stories about their husbands. Church Gist. Everybody, painful, painful. So what happens? As you are reading them daily, you are making decisions about what doesn’t exist. You go back with that decision and anger and venom. You are looking for an innocent man and you vomit on him. Women are not victims, stop the nonsense! Women are not victims, I shut that spirit down! I shut it down from this generation! I shut down the nonsense! Women, are you victims? Are you a victim? Women are not victims! Get out of that thing. Church Gist. “We know ourselves, we are the ones that…” No! You are not a part of them.
Let me tell you this. Genesis 34:1-2. There is a mentality of “The daughters of the land” and it brings defilement” Men, say after me loud and clear “We are not victims” The fact that your birthday was forgotten doesn’t make you a victim. Church Gist. The fact that they celebrate whether Father’s Day or Brother’s Day or whatever once a year doesn’t make us victims, we are not victims. Last week Sunday was Mother’s Day, it was on Monday I remembered that I did not even post my wife. She knows how busy my schedule is, that is not even an excuse but imagine her as a woman who already has a bad perception about me, I won’t eat dinner that night. “You see now, so this is your thought about me, so…”
Let me tell you where the problem started from. Church Gist. The problem is that on your birthdays, you will begin to check on WhatsApp status, everybody who posts you, you will re-upload. You are telling the devil that “These things mean so much to me, in case it is missing, it also means so much to me” It shows that you are not yet busy as you ought to. Imagine having over a million people who have been impacted by your life, how many do you…I mean, come on, stop that. When something is hurting you, talk. “Babe, you did not even post me” It may not mean anything to my wife, that doesn’t mean if it means to you…let me balance it up. Somebody is elbowing the wife, “You see now, even Apostle sef no remember, so who I be” No, you are not me. I don’t know you, neither am I denying you. I know you in the Spirit. Do what you should do. Church Gist. ‘Me, I know as I dey take manoeuvre when the thing don dey bend’. Don’t go and just hear one man of God say “I’ve never fought with my wife in this life” ‘He know o’. Scene one; “I’ve never fought with, never argued with my wife” Scene two; They’ll just open the curtain, the man is on his knees, “Baby, I’m sorry” (laughter) You too, you’ll go and form macho, “I don’t take nonsense from women” ‘You no know wetin he dey do behind the scene’. Church Gist. Don’t take people’s public opinion, ‘e dey risky’ “Me? I cannot kneel down to propose to a woman” ‘7 girls don bounce you no, e no get wetin them see?’
You see, it is sign that you are not complete inside, that you carry people’s ideologies and forget what you know. Church Gist. That’s not the way life is designed to be lived.
I’ve heard many people say, “I mean, how do you mean? An Apostle like me, kneel down to propose to a woman?” No, ‘no kneel down’ How many sisters do you have? Church Gist. They would soon start finding women for you and all of them are saying “That your brother? No. That your brother, that one wey get big head? No” Are you following what I’m saying here?
Please, I want us to shout it again loud and clear “I am not a victim”
If many people will believe what is written in the Bible, the same way they believe what is on Facebook, on Twitter and Instagram, their lives will be better. This same you, you are the one on every blog from Instablog to Yabaleft to something Gossip to this one Aproko to ‘that one they look’ to…everything they’re writing, you have liked. Church Gist. Who are you and what do you believe? Who are you? Let me tell you something, if you are too free to be doing everything online, get a job that you can work online if you so much like being online. Be a content creator or something manager for an organization, channel your skill into that. You are the one that would mix groundnut and fried rice and then put a bit of mayonnaise on top then add yam. Church Gist. You come back, you are distorted, your orientation is wack, nobody knows what you are thinking. Stop that! Look at the energy you feel when you’re pressing your phone and the weakness you feel when you hold the Bible. You drag and now your mentality looks fixed and what we’re doing now is to try to mechanically engineer you, maybe in this one lifetime, you will be at least functional again because there are dysfunctional individuals that produce dysfunctional homes because of bad orientation.
Don’t build your home on media standards. Not everybody on media has sense. Fools talk. Have you seen platforms, you don’t even know the name behind or the face? They are faceless and nameless. Church Gist. They cause trouble everywhere. They can tweet 1000 things about marriage and they’re not married. Somebody is just reading and saying ‘Na true, na true. I agree’ He even screenshots it and hides it for the day of evil. Is somebody learning something?
There are consequences that come with running with destructive ideologies. I’m going to give you instances. If you look at the Book of Numbers 23, Balak had gone to contact Balaam to curse the children of Israel to use divination and sorcery and they could not be cursed. Church Gist. Numbers 23:1-9,23. Numbers 25:1. A very painful story and you check what happened, they started joining ideologies, they were fraternizing and learning from their gods. Numbers 25:9. The people that sorcery could not kill, the people that even a prophet could not curse, the people that the gods of the Earth gathered could not bring into judgement, but the fact that they joined themselves with people of wrong ideologies, they died in their numbers. Be careful. Who have you made your best friend who doesn’t know God? Who have you called bestie? Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are. Church Gist. Is your home so intact that your spouse can perceive that “this is a wrong friend. I don’t want to see this person in our house again” and you will say “Thank you. Alright.” Both as a man and as a woman.
You know, unfortunately, we are in a generation that the fact that you are seeing a male with your husband doesn’t mean he is not cheating on you with the male. I’m trying to show you the level of decadence there is already. That’s why I’m saying what I’m doing here is warfare. Church Gist. All these ideologies and many more, by the time the result of it rains on us…sometimes, your husband doesn’t have a man, maybe he’s cheating with another man, ‘That one get as e be’. But this man now, is the one that introduces different girls. Church Gist. He is not cheating yet, but this guy is and he’s telling your husband, you have an idea. If your wife tells you “This person is against our home” Do you have the maturity it takes as a man to separate from that person?
Let me tell you what I’ve learnt, women know trouble before they come. All the time my wife has warned me and I used ego to say no, I fell into trouble. 90% of the trouble, I couldn’t tell her. She says “Why are you sad?” “You see, I’ve just been…” Because I was afraid of “Did I not tell you?” She just looks at it and says “Be careful” I say “No, no, don’t worry. Church Gist. I have it figured out” Now, now, now, I’m in trouble. I come back, I say “Hey!” She says “You look down today” “No, no. When they say there’s a casting down, I will say there’s a lifting up. I’m not down” She goes back, I put my hand (on my hand) and say Jesu (Jesus). Church Gist. Many men would have lived longer if they listened to their wives. Many women too would have lived longer if they listened to their (husbands).
Do you believe that when you are married your husband is your covering? Don’t operate outside of covering and you too, don’t marry a torn umbrella. Don’t marry what you married and bring it like it’s our problem. Church Gist. It’s your problem. No, it’s not our problem, it’s your problem. We will try to help you, but it’s your problem. You too, check. Are you following what I’m saying? Don’t let shawarma blind you. Now, I don’t even think that shawarma is romantic. I think it’s petrol now. Church Gist. You say “I love you” “Show me that you love me” You say “I will install solar for you” I know those in UK and America can’t relate. “What are they talking about?” ‘Body go tell you’
The crux of what I’ve said now is, just perceive right. There is a way a girl will look at you, your wife said “Be careful, I don’t like that girl” Don’t say “No, no. You this woman, you have hate in your heart. Church Gist. All the things that Apostle have been teaching, your mind have not been…” No, this is your lifeline. After that one, the next thing that will happen is that you are in a pit. Don’t say “No, you don’t have love in your heart, that’s how you did the other…” No, no. There is the consequence of shutting down your spouse, male or female. There is the consequence of having your way all the time. Church Gist. There is a consequence for that. Your marriage is already bad and abusive if your spouse don’t have their opinion. You say “No, no, I know how to silence her. That’s a dictator talking.
Now, this is where it gets critical. The devil is raising a campaign to get men out of the equation of families. There is a subtle ideology now that all you need a man for is to get pregnant and give birth. Church Gist. Get out of his life and live your life. There is a subtle arrangement. The ones that that is not happening to, they are turning to women. They are doing hip enlargement. What does a man have to do with bum bum? They are making that one big too. They are saying put silicone in my chest, they start with lipstick. What is it about the male gender that the devil is after? Let me tell you, men, if we allow what is going on to go on, in another 50 years, you will not have relevance except you know God. Church Gist. I want to believe that is not happening here, but there is a subtle ideology. “Just marry, if he does any nonsense, take care of your children, face them with your life, get out”. It matters the orientation we are bringing in, it matters.
Exodus 1:15,16. Men, the devil wants to kill you. He wants you dead and it is not your wife he’s trying to use to kill you. So, let’s get the balance right. The devil wants you out of the equation and somehow, the way many men are living, it seems as though they have agreed to die young. Church Gist. A man who abandons his wife and children, somehow, he has agreed to die young. It doesn’t matter how sweet adultery is, it is poison sugar, it destroys. I’ve told you, before you learn anybody’s ways, check the champion who has run with that pattern for long. Church Gist. When you get to an organisation, check those who have spent 15 years there, that is the mirror of your own 15 years time. The devil wants to kill you.
Some men take unnecessary risks. They go out with people and they trust the people more than their wives. All the people that God should use to protect them, I know you may have trust issues, but at least, trust in your home. Don’t run with the idea that “Women, this, this, this” and I beg you in the name of Jesus Christ…see, I agree, I accept to be criticised for what I’m teaching. Church Gist. Oh! I accept but let a generation hear my voice! In fact, the criticism will help those that will hear, hear that somebody is begging. Women, don’t believe the ideology that the role of a father in the house doesn’t matter. It does. The fact that you are submitted under a man doesn’t make you a lesser human being, you are just functioning according to pattern. Remove the thought from your mind “That my children don’t need…” If something has happened and you have both gone separate ways, I accept, God will help you. Church Gist. Because if there are issues that can be resolved, solve it (them). If there are issues that “I am sorry” will take care of, say it. If there are issues that going on your knees, don’t say “Women, see, they will be talking to me” That’s victim mentality. If this is your own home, shut the door. The media that is encouraging you to break it, ask them, “When I do, will you take care of my children? Will you play the role of their father? Will you pay their school fees? Will you be the one to communicate affection to my children?” They will not. Don’t let those who are keeping theirs destroy yours. Church Gist. Don’t make that decision. It is a subtle wind, it is coming and I look around, I say can’t the Body of Christ see this? There is fire on the mountain. We are masculating women. They are becoming men. Can’t we see what is going on?
Unfortunately so, many men too have not learned to take responsibility and play their leadership role, hence, forcing a need for a resurgence. At a certain age, it should not be a mystery what you do for a living. There should be a plan. Church Gist. What do you expect when women are left to fend for themselves? It’s the basic role of a man to provide. It doesn’t make you less of a woman if a man provides for you. Don’t say “No, no. I’m a woman, I buy my things myself.” No, no. Nobody has said you are not a woman because he buys it. You are reacting against what is not. We insult our mothers because they took rubbish, but their homes lasted. Church Gist. Am I saying take rubbish? Kill yourself? No. “We, the kind of women that we are, I pay my bills, I do my stuff. Anything you want to say, say it to your own pocket. You are not paying my bills. I am this…” No, that you pay your bills doesn’t mean you should be arrogant. Church Gist. Humility is the ornament of a good believer. You are a Christian first. Be humble.
Can things happen in the house that for a season, the woman is bringing in more resources? Yes. How do you handle that season? I hope the man will not come back and you sweep it in his face “That’s your food. After all, your age mates are bringing money. Since you can’t bring money, go and eat” and the man has learnt the custom of coming back home late or not at all because the only place he feels useless is with you. Church Gist. Everywhere else, he is celebrated until he comes around you and yet, we blame that on the devil. We say men are king. You have destroyed the king in your own spouse and you honour another person’s king. Don’t emasculate women and feminize men. Let’s get the balance. Let’s go back to the foundation. Let’s go back to the original template. You are a man, step up and lead. Church Gist. Lead your home as a man, pray for her, provide. It’s not a big deal when you do it, it’s your role. Step up, pray, lay hands, do your priesthood duty, inspire your children. You cannot take the back seat and expect her to sit down and die. Church Gist. Somebody will have to do the thinking. We must get the balance right and tell this generation, turn back from the path of destruction.
“There is no job yet. There is nothing yet” Get out of the house. Go to people, find something you can do. Don’t lie down pressing phone and this woman is thinking “I can’t even buy bottled water and he’s there” Something will affect her mind. Church Gist. If nobody is going to sit in the driver’s seat, the family will crash. Somebody will have to step up. So, when we say women, submit, be a man worthy of the submission. We must get the balance. Church Gist. If we don’t function according to this balance, there are consequences and the consequences are very bad. Amen.
I have to round up now.
There is also the consequence of perceiving marriage as a prison. That you are free until you are married. That is a bad ideology. So, I wrote here and I’m going to wrap up with this statement that, the Internet community that is validating what you are doing wrong, will not be there with you to suffer the consequences, they won’t be there to fend for your children. Church Gist. If you die in the process of what is wrong, your death won’t make news. No blog will post your body. Nobody will say you have died. It will look like the fall of an ant from a mountain. It will be unnoticed. Grow, build yourself. Church Gist. Don’t overrate your importance. Don’t die when you can live, pay attention to details, love God, love your family and be very, very wise. Have you been blessed this morning?
May I beg us in the name of Jesus Christ, for the next one, 2 minutes, maybe there are ideologies we need to submit at the Altar? You know what I love about this Church? It is the Church of broken people that the Lord is mending. Church Gist. We are not perfect people, in case you are new, no. This is Sphere of Light Church, we are not perfect people. So, sometimes, every now and then, you may see us outside even while service is on, crying, see people do all that. That’s just one of the things you’ll see here and I want to beg you, if there are ideologies, I’m not going to tell anybody, hold the mic, no. Church Gist. You know there are ideologies that you need to submit at the foot of the cross. Maybe there are fears, you want to come out to the Altar.
Last week, while I was ministering, a young man ran out and held my leg. (How many of you saw that last week?) Now, you may not know what he was saying. He was saying just one statement, “Mummy, I forgive you” He was a muslim, I invited him over to my house on Monday, led him to Christ, gave him a new name, Abraham. Church Gist. He was with me in Ibadan yesterday, will be back later this week. The young lady that shared her testimony on Sunday, by the grace of God, we are taking responsibility for her to go back to school. We are fighting a battle here. It’s like I can see what is coming. I see what the devil is doing. Church Gist. When I taught on dysfunctional backgrounds, look at the number of people that needed healing. I’m afraid in another 20 years, who will teach these ones how to be healed from the parents that are rising now? That’s why we are doing what we are doing. It’s not convenient to teach what I’m teaching. I want to beg us, there are ideologies that you have to lay down.
—Prayers—
#ApostleFemiLazarus
#SphereOfLightChurch
#SupersonicSunday
#19thMay2024
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