PARENTS YOU WILL GIVE ACCOUNT TO GOD ON HOW YOU RAISED YOUR CHILDREN
MY WIFE TRIED TO HUG SOME CHILDREN IN FRONT OF THEIR PARENTS AND THEY WERE TOO AFRAID TO RECEIVE IT. THEY WERE NOT USED TO RECEIVING LOVE FROM THEIR PARENTS
HATRED IS BORN OUT OF LOVE BANKRUPTCY.
AN ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY WILL MAKE A CHILD DEPEND ON HIS FATHER FOR LIFE.
IT MAKES YOU BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE SOMEBODY IS RELATED TO YOU, HE MUST HELP YOU.
THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE TOO PROUD TO SAY THANK YOU.
NO MATTER HOW ANOINTED YOU ARE, IF GOD DOES NOT HELP YOU CAN BE MEEKLY DECEIVED.
ONE MAN WAS TRYING TO TEAR PAPA OYEDEPO DOWN IN MY PRESENCE AND HE KNOWS MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM, HE’S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND TODAY.
COMPANY AFFECTS CHARACTER.
NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY, YOUR CHARACTER CAN NEVER BE BETTER THAN THE COMPANY YOU KEEP.
-Dr Pastor Paul Enenche on the “HINDRANCES TO THE LOVE LIFE.” at the Dunamis International Gospel Centre || 1st Service.
We give you the Honour and adoration, blessed be your name, honour to your name. Father, we ask that you visit us today and let not one leave here without your visitation. Do with us what you alone can do, in Jesus’ precious name.
I’d like to welcome everyone here this morning. I believe that this is the day the Lord has made and we shall rejoice and be glad in it. We started a very interesting subject; the subject of love. This morning we shall look briefly at; HINDRANCES TO THE LOVE LIFE.
Romans 12:20-21. Our objective is to understand the factors that make loving become difficult, factors that make living a life of love difficult. By way of introduction, the Bible makes it clear that God is love and does everything on the platform of love. ChurchGist. He has also commanded His people to love like He does by living in love. 1st John 4:8. From the scriptures we’ve read thus far, there are factors that tend to negate our life of love and this morning we shall be looking at those factors.
WHAT ARE THE HINDRANCES TO THE LOVE LIFE.
- LOVE DEPRIVATION (ESPECIALLY FROM CHILDHOOD) This is the major cause of the lack of demonstration of love. People who are deprived of love, in most cases, will find it difficult to demonstrate love. 1st Thessalonians 4:. People are only able to release what they have received, it is easy to know what to release when you’ve known what you have received. Many people are unable to release love because they’ve not received love and this is very important for parents. ChurchGist. Children who have been love deprived eventually end up with the inability to receive love, to give love, they end up with the inability to get love.
In fact, they become suspicious of genuine love gestures. They can’t receive kindness. There was a time Dr Mrs Enenche had some children in her office and she was trying to embrace and hug them and the children could not receive it; come let me hug you, they were afraid. Their parents were there (I believe) and they couldn’t express love, they were not suffering children, they’re not children from poverty homes but they did not understand the language of love. What a pathetic situation! Yet, this children will grow up tomorrow to become somebody’s wife, somebody’s mother, somebody’s friend.
Parents please do all you can to pour love on your children. We live in a terrible world today because there is love bankruptcy and love deprivation. ChurchGist. I’ve been with people who say; when you say they’re beautifully dressed, they’ll start to suspect you, may be you’re mocking them. They can’t receive compliments, because the only thing they heard from their mother was insults. The only thing they heard from their parents when they were growing up is that you can’t do well, you can never be successful. They compare them with other children, telling them how they’re better than them.
I know of families where if two people have problems from outside and they come inside, before the parent will hear from their children; they will blame their child first. They would gang up with other people against their own children. Hatred is born out of love bankruptcy.
In our home, love is everywhere, the flow is permanent. When the Children were born, some of them will lay on my chest for 3 hours while I’m praying in tongues, they’ll just relax there.
Hallelujah!
One little boy was in a classroom in the UK and the teacher was asking questions, what did I say? They asked a boy and he said an answer and the whole class laughed at him. They were always laughing at him, he had a sister in the same class, he looked towards the sister for affirmation that if everybody is laughing at me, at least my sister should be on my side, the sister was also laughing at him. ChurchGist. That boy ran out of that class immediately, that was the last time he would be in a class with human beings, he became a serial killer; human beings are bad, they’re wicked, if my own sister can mock me and laugh at me and reject me then no human being is worth it. He told his story before his execution, of what turned him into a killer. This is a real-life story!
Some of you parents by the time you finish turning your children into bundles of hatred, when you meet God you will give account. I talk to teenagers here, I see some of them, suffering in their homes, under their parents, people who are meant to be Church workers and all of that. You brought hell out of your children and you want them to become something in life. ChurchGist. I know a man, his own way of deriving pleasure is to insult his children as they are passing by, nothing normal comes out of that man’s mouth towards his children and I don’t know of anyone that succeeded. Anyone who succeeded is the one who is coming to God, all of them were rendered useless by the hatred and the mouth of the father. Love children, not just yours, love them.
Children love me, they run to me whenever they see me. I carry them, I back some of them, at this age I still back some of them, teenagers, 16-18 years of age, I still back them, the girls I carry them in my hands. If we want to change the world up, let’s start from the ground level.
It has been said that children that receive physical touch, those children do better than those who nobody is touching them. We went for evangelism yesterday. I was shaking hands and I was pulling and playing with the young men’s beards. I have done that to people before who broke down and started crying. They said nobody ever loved them, no father and mother ever showed them any level of value. ChurchGist. We live in a world dying of lack of love; wife dying from the hands of a loveless husband, children dying from the hands of a loveless father. I want to beg that everybody listening to this message, please listen to this sermon again, give it to your friends. Let’s begin to work on our generation, so that we can stop producing people that have no heart for people, people that do not love anybody, people that are just passing through this world just empty and bankrupt of love. I told my children; call me anytime (day or night), call me anytime, either from school or anywhere, 2am or 3am because if you don’t have time for them somebody will have time for them and it may be somebody you don’t like.
- HUMAN INGRATITUDE.
A major enemy of living the love life is ingratitude. When you do things for people and they’re absolutely ungrateful, it will make you not do anything for people again. 2nd Timothy 3:1-2. We live in a world today, a world of ingratitude, a world where somebody’s thank you may mean insult, this is the world we live in today. ChurchGist. You do things to people and you are kind to people and they cannot say thank you. In fact, sometimes they act in an outright unthankful way, until you’re wondering did I help this person.
Somebody is living in the house you paid for and he’s attacking you, that is the reality of the world we live in and I’m telling you practical things. The car you gave him, he’s still driving it yet he’s attacking you. The money you gave him for business is what has made him to be what he is in business, yet his gratitude is to attack you. So, you come to the point where you’re wondering, ok who do I help? ChurchGist. Some will tell it to your face, God only used you, he can use another person.
Hallelujah!
One young man that was raised in ministry by one of the fathers, the young man became very ungrateful and very arrogant, and the man told him that; I carried you on my shoulder when you were nothing, is it me you’re talking to like this. The young man said; you’re carrying me on your shoulder, please drop me, the man said I drop you. ChurchGist. That dropping was his crash for life, I think he became blind or mad. Somebody said I trained you and you’re talking to me like this and you said, is it not your Bible School I went to, take your certificate back, he handed it over to him and the man tore it in his presence, that was the tearing of everything about him. You’re boasting every time that you trained me, okay take your certificate and the man collected it and tore it. That will never be your portion.
Whenever someone comes and he says he wants help, you’re thinking twice, will this person be like this other person, because that other person didn’t look like he would become like this.
There are many people that make people ungrateful, I’ll give you two points.
A. An entitlement mentality.
Where somebody believes that whatever you’re doing for them, they are entitled to it. An entitlement mentality! Have you seen people in the village, saying our brother is abroad or Lagos and he’s not helping anybody, he only knows himself. ChurchGist. The question is; why must he help you? What made you entitled to the help if not the mercies of God? I was talking to a man the other day, he’s 58 years old, very soon he will be 60 years old. He was lamenting that since his father died nobody has been helping him. He’s going to 60. Somebody who should be a grandfather himself, he said since his father died, nobody has helped him and he was about to shed tears. That is a thing that should make me laugh normally, but I have to calm myself so he doesn’t think that I’m mocking him or I don’t identify with his plights. An entitlement mentality is what will make a child depend on his father for life or believe that because somebody is related to you, he must help you. It’s not written anywhere, whatever is done for you is a privilege, it’s not a right, we have that entitlement mentality in our generation.
B. The spell of pride and arrogance.
There are people who are too proud to say thank you. 2nd Timothy 3:2. Most people that are proud are unthankful, they can’t say thank you. You give them something, they’ll collect it and start going. ChurchGist. They don’t want to behave as if they have been helped, they’re too arrogant to acknowledge help, they are too ostentatious and that has kept them where they are. You can say thank you even to your own child, you can say thank you to your wife, over and over again. You can appreciate who you think you’re bigger than, that is the humility that sustains authority.
So, this is the second thing that makes people not to do things for people, but I want to let you know that we are not doing things for people not for the sake of the person, you’re doing things for people for God’s sake and you’re doing it for yourself and your destiny. ChurchGist. If you mind people’s actions, you won’t do things for many people, because human beings will naturally want to use you and dump you, they want to climb you like a ladder, when they think they have succeeded, then who do you think you’re.
There was somebody Papa Oyedepo was trying to raise, he was a very powerful man in those days under his ministry and at that time, he was behaving very arrogant, as if he and his father in the Lord were in the same level and Papa said; this your pride will destroy you, he said let it destroy me. ChurchGist. He was destroyed eventually, he was destroyed by the pride, he was destroyed until this powerful man had no voice, he had nobody to talk to.
By the time Papa Oyedepo was flying all around the world in aircraft ministry, he was still transporting himself by night bus, not commercial aircraft, it was by night bus to reach his destination. He didn’t end well. ChurchGist. When you’re looking at such situations and you’re trying to pour yourself into people and they reward you with pride and arrogance and ostentatiousness. I have stood side by side with people in the hospital, they were at their point of death, breathe cutting and I drove down with my wife in the middle of the night and we stood against the force of death and casted it out, this same people will come out well and I became the subject of attack. Real life!
There was one, I was with the Consultant, a pulmonologist, a chest physician, this guy breathe was almost gone, we brought him back, did everything, I drove him myself to the physician, praying and doing everything. He came out of it and he became Absalom, we don’t see again.
The question is how do you keep on helping people, touching, impacting and assisting people? You keep on doing it because it is commanded, you keep on doing it for the sake of your own future, for the sake of your own destiny. Because it was when Job prayed for his friends that God turned around his captivity. ChurchGist. Those who fought against him, who reacted against him, it was when Job prayed for them that things changed. And you keep doing it because you also understand; for every Orpah that will disappoint, there is a Ruth that will be loyal, that will be faithful. So, you’re walking and you’re acting with the mind that you’ll locate Ruth wherever she’s found. You will locate John the beloved that will walk all the way to the cross, you’ll locate it.
- HUMAN WICKEDNESS AND MISBEHAVIOUR.
Psalm 109:4. I’m talking about human actions and misbehaviours, especially in response to good deeds, it becomes a major hindrance to your love life. ChurchGist. Those who actually turn to your sworn enemies in return for your love. Proverbs 17:13. We are dealing with people who reward evil for good. I have four categories of these people.
A. Deception and insincerity.
You’re true with them, you’re real with them and they are insincere with you, they are untruthful with you. They’re not real to you.
Can I tell you a story? A young man who is an orphan. We knew the parents and this young man suddenly told me that he had a heart disease and they are about to fly him to Canada, I sent him money, less than #300,000 to assist him to Canada. ChurchGist. We have done that a couple of times. The father was a wealthy man that died and the mother followed suit, we helped him to set up a business and he was doing it. He now sent me a message about how he was going to Canada because of a disease, he explained things that were medically correct and I understood them, it was urgent. So, I assisted him with some money.
After a while, he sent another message. His situation had gotten worse, he was not able to talk well on the phone. I said sorry, I was very compassionate, I wish I could see him in person, after a while the Holy Ghost ministered to me, confirm that what he’s saying is true. So, I asked somebody to help me check the location of the number he called me with. And they checked and they saw that he was somewhere in the boundary between Enugu State and Benue State. So, he kept on calling and disguising his voice, coughing her and there and giving me correct medical terms. No matter how anointed you’re, if God does not help you can be meekly deceived. ChurchGist. Have you ever felt like somebody turned you into a fool? So, I roared at him on the phone, do you know who you’re dealing with at all? I’m trying to help you and you’re lying to me, deceiving and cheating me. Do you want to die? Even if you’re going to be lying to people, is it my type and you know my work.
I heard a funny story about one of our members here; somebody tried to dupe him and he had wired some money about two times already only for the person to discover that this person is a dubious person. Now, this our member works with EFCC (the person they’re trying to dupe). So, he sent his Identity Card to the man at first, he said I can trace and pick you now. The guy began to beg, I’m sorry, I’m an orphan, if you pick me now, there is nobody to bail me. ChurchGist. You didn’t know you’re an orphan before you started the process.
Love is truthful, real and sincere. So, whenever you are dealing with people with the sincerity of your heart, your compassion is so real and sincere and they are returning deception for your compassion, it just deters you; you don’t know who to help again. ChurchGist. Have I not told you before? Somebody sat in my office, and this man is a white man. Have I told you the story before, in area 1 office, the moment he sat down (God helped me on time in this case). The moment he sat down, the Holy Ghost told me he’s about to tell a lie. Holy Ghost said, he’s about to tell you that they stole his bag and took everything that is inside and he has no money now, that I should assist him with money, it is not true. Wow!
So, I looked at him, because if it is somebody that looked like an area boy, that story can be true, but I’m looking at this person, this is like an European person and he’s stealing. Before I could say praise the Lord, he said he was coming from Jos to Abuja, around that Maraba side, he was trying to get out of the vehicle when some boys snatched his bag. ChurchGist. He thought I was sympathizing with him, not knowing I was thanking the Holy Spirit. This is the second time I am hearing the story you’re telling me, the first time the Holy Spirit told me before you told me. That was how I said; it is well with you, the Lord that sees you, will recover everything that they stole from you and it is well ehn. So, we will see later, okay! Hallelujah!
I prophesy to you today, the Lord will help you overcome the agents of the enemy that want to attack your love life, receive help in the name of Jesus.
B. Conspiracy and gang up.
This is a situation where people you’ve helped try to gang up with your enemies. Have you ever been in a situation where somebody you love, somebody you assisted and helped, his closest friends become those you know hates you. ChurchGist. He’s fraternizing with people against you to hate you with passion. This kind of thing can make people slack, they’ll say, you know what, I helped them and they harm and hurt me. But again, you’re not doing it because of yourself, you’re not doing it because of that person, you’re doing it because of God and because of your future.
Let me give general counsel. Please let us be calming down! Don’t let the devil use you to be an agent in making somebody careful in helping other people. Anybody who rewards evil for good, evil will not depart from their house. ChurchGist. The same person that is helping you, you’re lying to him, you’re ganging up against him, you’re sitting down to tear him down. The nature of human beings is so amazing. Do you know you can be pastoring people who are permanently looking for your fault, they are just sitting down and watching. If you’re better than him, why don’t you ask God to make you a pastor, it’s just a mystery. The one who prays for you in the night, lays hands on you, trust God to cast out the devil in you, puts himself under pressure and you’re on the lookout trying to find fault in him. It’s amazing!
Please make yourself a friend that is a friend indeed! Don’t resist those who assist you, don’t fight those who help you, don’t gang up with those who are the enemies of those that God used to help you, don’t do that. ChurchGist. One man came to my house many years ago and he was trying to tear Papa Oyedepo down, in my presence and he knows my relationship with him, that was the last time I had any dealing with him. He was anointed by Archbishop Benson Idahosa of blessed memory, he’s nowhere to be found today. Trying to tear down the one who laid hands on me, the one who helped me when I was nothing (I’m still nothing), in my eyes. In the village, even if your father is a drunkard, nobody is permitted to insult him in your presence. Your father fell into the drainage because he’s drunk and some young boys are trying to stone him, you’ll fight them first and then you will arrange and park your father up. When the alcohol clears from his eyes, you’ll tell him, Papa why are you disgracing me. Please Papa. You’ll deal with each other at home but you’ll deal with the enemies outside.
Hallelujah!
I see a new day for somebody.
- Every gang up and conspiracy against you will not stop you. 1st Peters 3:13. If you’re doing good, no agenda of hell can ever succeed against you.
- COMPANY WITH THE LOVELESS AND THE WICKED
Proverbs 13:20. Company affects character, no matter how hard you try, your character can never be better than the company you keep. Association brings assimilation. You absorb the character of those you associate with, so you have to associate with loving, good and kind people you will be loving, kind and generous. ChurchGist. Don’t associate with hateful people because it will ruin your life. A good man, generous and loving man from a loving home, a close knitted family, this man suddenly marries a woman (this can also be the other way round) that is loveless, heartless, doesn’t care for people, this loving man will eventually be ruined.
It starts by when he sends money to his parents and siblings, he hides to do it; this lioness must not know, until he comes to a point where relations are driven far away, friends are at a distance, nobody is helped and assisted anymore, because one individual entered his life and ruined his life. The things I speak many times are the things I see in scriptures and the things I see in real life.
What I just described now, is a real-life situation. A good man full of smiles, fill of welcome for everybody, yet everything nosedives because of a relationship, brothers and family stopped coming to his house, they were sent away with a letter. This guy was to himself until he became sick, terminal illness and nobody was around him and who surrounds you determines what you can survive. ChurchGist. When Paul the Apostle was stoned, he was surrounded with people who loved him, he jacked up. This man degenerated to the wheelchair, he died like a chicken, when the family came, it was too late, after he died the family situation remained the same, you’re still not welcome. It will never be your portion.
- May nobody enter your life and drive good people away from your life.
If you’re going to get married, please look well, look at the character of the man, the story I said now, the opposite is true.
A young lady got married, her mother had died prior, her father raised her and she got a good job and then she met a disastrous man, a middle level qualification, she was a graduate, he was like OND (Ordinary National Diploma) or something, she had a car, while the guy trekked into her life. As soon as he arrived, he started displaying an attitude of I am the owner of everything, he stopped this girl from sending money to her father and her siblings. She said but my father trained me. Let me help him train my junior ones, he said no, not in this home. He will beat her and naked her in the compound, but I warned them before. ChurchGist. When I saw the man’s temper before courtship, I warned her. Are you sure of this man?
Because any masquerade that will know how to dance, you can see it from his walking step. Any man that has the capacity to tear down the wife in marriage you will see their anger in courtship, but they have a way of excusing it. I wonder why she went ahead and married the man. The man beat the hell out of her, until she ran out of that house alive, she became a shadow of herself but God rescued her at the end, because I’m one of those who believe that it’s better to be alive without a marriage than to die because of marriage. ChurchGist. I have said this for more than twenty years. That was how this disaster nearly ruined that girl’s life, but he could not succeed because she ran for her life. Before you marry whether you’re a man or a woman, watch it!
Those who advise you against goodness, watch them, either generosity towards God, toward people, genuine kindness, watch those people. We are all in this world but we are not the same, our character content differs, don’t let anybody run your life according to their own principles or what they think.
Even house helps in your house, find out who they are and find out their principles. For example, we believe in tithing here, we had an accountant then who did not believe in tithing, he was a member of the Church but he didn’t understand tithe. ChurchGist. So, one day I saw that our Church finances were going down and I asked him what’s going on. I hope we have been faithful in tithing as a Church? He said not all the time. I said what! Do you tithe yourself? He said not all the time. Oh! No wonder. It was our mistake not your own, to put somebody who does not believe in the principle there.
Don’t allow people with divergent principles to ruin your life. Choice of association, your friend should be somebody who has a major percentage of the content of your character.
Lift your right hand and say Father in the name of Jesus, I receive the grace to company correctly, I receive that grace now in the name of Jesus.
- LACK OF VALUE FOR GOD AND MAN.
When people don’t have value for God, they don’t have value for man. Mark 12:30-31. True spirituality is reflected in value for both God and men. When we say somebody is Spiritual, we are saying that person values God and man because if you’re made in the image of God, you will value human beings made in the image of God. Real value and love for God will translate into real value and love for man. ChurchGist. There is something I am unable to comprehend, how somebody can claim to be a child of God, you just left God’s house and then you get to the car park and you start quarrelling there, I just came to love God on Sunday morning and you entered the car and you’re quarrelling your wife; is food ready at home, tell me immediately, you should be able to answer direct. What I cannot understand is how a man will dress his wife down with insults in front of the kids. Can you truly love and value God and treat any human being like a rag. I don’t think so!
On this note, if you find yourself having difficulties in loving people in your life, ask God to reveal Himself to you, is like you don’t know God yet. But I believe the closer we get to God, the more loving, the more compassionate and loving we become. ChurchGist. You’re loving and you’re lovable. Apart from you loving people, you’re a company people want to hang around with. Because God is love, to carry God is to carry love. I see something changing in somebody’s life.
Prayers
- Psalm 136:4. Father, thank you for answered prayers so far, thank you for victories, blessings, breakthroughs and mercies. To you be all the praise, Lord in Jesus Name.
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