Your journey with Christ is continual and you have no idea what God will take you through for His glory. – Pastor Tamara Bennett
“I married a minister and an evangelist, he was very popular and had a profound ministry and anointing; he traveled all over the United States. We were married for 13 years, the last five years of our life together became interesting. He got sick and we didn’t know what the problem was. We went from doctor to doctor, he was losing weight and then one day in 1999, he was coughing so badly he fell off the couch. So I was like “that’s it, I call 9-1-1, we get to the hospital, we’re in the emergency room when the doctor comes in, throws his x-ray up on the board and says, “this is AIDS”. He then begins to ask questions, “are you a user? Do you use needles or blades? Did you have a blood transfusion? What happened?”.
I’m calm, I said that’s not right. The doctor says, “I will double check” he comes back again and says yes, “it’s AIDS”. So I’m looking at my husband and I’m like “tell him, tell him it’s not right, tell him he’s got the wrong guy”, but my husband didn’t say anything. So the doctor looked at me and looked at him and excused us. I pull my chair and he says “Tammy I never had an affair on you”. He said “this was something that happened before I met you.”
I run to the hospital’s bathroom. I grab all the paper towel they had, I stuff my face and I cry and scream. Then a still small voice said “cover” and that was it. He didn’t want to take any medication,
We continued to travel until he couldn’t travel anymore. One particular Sunday we were getting ready for church, we are lying in bed and he said “what’s today?” and I said Sunday and he says “oh yeah we have to go to church”. we lay in bed a few more minutes and he said it again” what’s today?” and I’m thinking, you know, he’s sleepy, he’s delirious and I said “Sunday” so he said the exact same thing again, “oh yeah, we have to go to church”. Then he asked again but this time his eyes looked weird. They just had this daisy-like look in it. And I knew he really didn’t know what the day was and I said “we’re going to rest today okay, we’ll just stay home and rest”, he said, “okay” and that was the beginning of dementia. For six or seven months it went from dementia to stroke. We’re lying in the bed and I’m sleep and then I hear this crash and it’s because he had gotten up to go to the restroom but then he had a seizure.
It was one particular member that I could trust, one, that stood by my side because at the time I wasn’t working. At the same time we still had a church and they didn’t know. But Sundays I’d fix him up. It’d gotten to the point that I was bathing him, changing him, shaving him, cutting his hair, but we made sure he always looked presentable. We cared for him until the day he died. I was walking around the church because now I really didn’t know what I was going to do. I was thinking “Am I going to go back to Corporate America? Am I going to stay here with the members? Am I going to move back to Detroit? Who’s going to lead the church? I’m grieving, I’m in pain, what am I going to do?” And the spirit of the Lord fell on me in the dining hall of the sanctuary, thundered in my ears “Humble yourself, I am never wrong. I will be your Shepherd and we will build this Church (This Is Pentecost Ministries)”. 18 years later, God has built this church. And if you ever don’t think God is fair know that God is fair.
So going on about my life; I’m trying to recreate my life and find my way and I took up bike riding. I didn’t want depression to make me go into a form of obesity or something so I took up bike riding and I would ride my bike for miles. But in one of those bike rides I ran past this restaurant and I was like, ‘I can’t eat here because I have my biking gear on’ but they had a patio. So I ate at the patio. It was an amazing meal and as I’m leaving there’s this black Chef there and so, girlfriend, you know when somebody’s trying to check you out but anyway. So I eat there but then I go back a few weeks later because I genuinely liked the food. I’m at the restaurant, I’m by myself and eating, he’s pacing back and forth and so finally I have to ask him something because I don’t see what I wanted on the menu and I said, “excuse me the other day I was here, what I had that day I don’t see it on the menu”. So he said, “what did you have?” And I say “it was Chilean sea bass with angel hair pasta with a corn relish on top”. He said “that was one of my specials and you’re not going to find that but I’ll see what I can do for you”. I’m like, “okay”. So he comes back and says “we don’t have Chilean but instead we have a halibut, tit-for-tat, they’re both delicious fish”. It was right after 9/11 and he sat at the table and we began to share and talk about 9/11 and he was so easy to talk to because I could breathe with him, I wasn’t a pastor, I could just be me. His restaurant became a spot for me and I would take different people. I didn’t go by myself anymore because I didn’t want him thinking I was trying to hit on him so I always came with somebody. So one time he waited until who I was with left the table and he came in there and said “So listen, everything about you might be out of my league for now but you’re my wife, okay”. Okay yes, I laughed because that was pretty bold but at the same time, you know girls like to be swept off their feet. So at the same time I was like, “oh okay”, so I said to him “If you believe I’m your wife then you need to go to God. Find out from God what it is going take to get me”. He said, ‘I have to do that?” I said “Yes”. So he joined the church and you know the process of time, you know, he’s faithful he’s serving, he’s doing things in the church and well I see he’s serious like he’s seriously trying to pursue me.
I was still saying I’ll never marry again. By then I’m having AIDS tests every six months. So in the church world, I couldn’t say that to some gentleman, some suitor calling. So when I saw he was serious and he kept pursuing. I say, ‘I really need to tell him’ and I said to him “My first husband passed away from AIDS and I don’t know if I have AIDS or not. So I need you to move on and I need you to let this go”. Tears were coming down his eyes and he said “You do not have AIDS. You will be my wife. And you will have my children”.
I don’t know if he had a calling of a prophet but those words were prophetic for me. So we married and I still was having my test. One particular time we go to take the test (I kept the same doctor) and she’s coming into the room and her face is red, and I’m thinking in my mind ‘This is it, she’s going to tell me this is it. Well, I had a great life’. You know, I’m thinking all these things ‘I’ll go to heaven and see Jesus. I’ll go be with Jesus’. And then she said “Tamara, you do not have AIDS but you are pregnant” and to this day, I have four beautiful children. What I didn’t know was that was not the way God had planned my story to end. Hallelujah! and so I preach every Sunday with the optimism that if He did it for me, He’ll do it for that person, that person, that person, and he can do it again and again and again because he’s a God without respect of persons.
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