I HAVE BEEN DRAGGED ON MANY OCCASIONS AND CALLED MANY NAMES BUT I DON’T MIND AS LONG AS WE RECEIVE TESTIMONIES
PEOPLE WHO HURT OTHERS ARE NOT NORMAL. THEY ARE A PAIN IN THEMSELVES AND USE OTHERS TO VENTILATE.
THERE ARE MARRIAGES THAT ‘I AM SORRY’ ALONE CANNOT REPAIR.
LOVE IS A COMMANDMENT BUT THERE ARE TIMES YOU HAVE TO LOVE FROM AFAR.
BITTERNESS IS NOT ABOUT FORGIVENESS FIRST, IT IS ABOUT HEALING FIRST.
SOME PEOPLE ARE MISERABLE TODAY BECAUSE OF THE RUMOURS PEOPLE ARE SPREADING ABOUT THEM NOT BECAUSE OF WHAT THEY DID.
PEOPLE BELIEVE GOSSIP ABOUT OTHERS BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO PARTNER WITH THEIR HATRED TOWARDS THEM.
IN THE WORLD WE LIVE IN TODAY, THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE MORE BRUTAL THAN THE devil.
YOU ARE NOT WEAK WHEN YOU FORGIVE, IT MEANS YOU UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THE OFFENDER DOESN’T UNDERSTAND.
TAKE YOUR EMOTIONS AWAY FROM REACH BY OUTGROWING THE PEOPLE WHO SAY TOXIC THINGS TO YOU.
IT TAKES HAVING A DIVINE NATURE TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO RETALIATE AND CHOOSE TO LET GO.
FORGIVE AND LET GO OF THOSE WHO HURT YOU SO THEY WON’T HAVE YOUR PAST AND TAKE YOUR FUTURE TOO.
YOU CAN NEVER TRULY HEAL UNTIL YOU TAKE A STEP OF FORGIVENESS.
THE CHURCH IS A SPIRITUAL CLINIC AND GOD’S WAY OF REACHING US.
LAY ALL YOUR PAINS ON CHRIST AND HE WILL HELP YOU RECOVER IN TOTALITY.
WHEN YOU FAIL TO FORGIVE MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE, YOU BECOME THE VICTIM.
– Apostle Femi Lazarus on “THE ROOT OF BITTERNESS” || Sphere of Light Church, Abuja || 12th May 2024 ||
This morning we will be wrapping up the Subject ‘THE ROOT OF BITTERNESS.” You don’t seem to want it to end. You can clap, don’t hide it. I want the Media to display my next series “FROM DYSFUNCTIONALITY TO FUNCTIONALITY.” So let me warn, it is radical. As far as teaching the Word is concerned, I am only loyal to the truth. So if you are not ready for radicality, this Subject right here will offend you but it’s going to heal you. Church Gist. We are going to go deep. Maybe what we did at first was 10 percent, it’s time to now go into it. So, we start on Tuesday. So you want to tell someone, don’t miss Bible Study for anything. And on Wednesday this Week also, I am in Lekki Sphere of Light (Lekki Church). You might have to follow that series keenly – ‘The Market Called Life.’ (Very very serious series) Amen!
Today, I am going to be wrapping up and I want us to please follow me keenly as we wrap up this Subject on ‘DEALING WITH THE ROOT OF BITTERNESS.’ Hebrews 12:14-15. Church Gist. And I want us to pay attention to that. It is the one who is bittered that is troubled. That’s the logic. Amen! It is the one who is bittered that is what? Troubled!
I took you from the root, if you missed the first teachings, you have to go back to it. That to be bittered means to be coerced – to lose every sense of sweetness towards a person, towards a cause; to become sharp. Church Gist. Sharp not as precision but sharp to mean something that can cause injury. You see, when you are hurt, you just want justice and sometimes, it’s not just justice but vengeance (a pound of flesh).
There is this Book we read then, I think ‘Merchant of Venice.’ How many of you have read that Book before? Alright. Okay, Merchant of Venice. You want a pound of flesh. In many cases (this is the fact), the offender is not even sorry in many cases. You see that. In fact, the offender considers it for you to think it’s a privilege for him to hurt you. Church Gist. I remember one time, there was going to be a program around our City and our facility in Ibadan every now and then, we give it out also for rent (people who want to have events). So, I heard this is a Christian Event, so I said, let’s give it to them free. They paid and when I heard, I said, no, return their money to them. But in the course of it, an equipment worth over 16 million naira was spoilt. So I said, just reach out to them so that it can be repaired. Then the person’s response was “you guys should consider it a privilege that we even used your facility.”
Let me tell you something, the reason why you have to take heed to your own soul is because not all men are reasonable. You must understand that. Not all men are reasonable. You can’t afford to…people hurt people because they are in pain themselves. How will anybody who is normal take a girl and rape her? The fellow is not fine. How will somebody who is normal bring out a gun and shoot somebody in the head – the fellow is not fine. Church Gist. How will somebody who is normal be rude? Sometimes these actions are ways people use to ventilate, a way of giving everyone around a measure of the pain they are already running with. ‘You need to feel what I feel.’
The policeman whose salary is not being paid regularly wants the citizens to feel it. When you drive and they ask you for money as a gentleman man (and) you fail to give as a gentleman, they say ‘park.’ And sometimes, just want you to know that ‘I can waste your time’ because the person too is not what? Fine. Church Gist. What about in a marriage? Married with someone who is a perpetual offender. One who doesn’t see anything good in you; will even insult your family. How do you forgive people who don’t stop offending?
I have been dragged on many occasions and called many names but I really don’t mind. If for the kind of testimony we heard her share today (testimony of a rape victim) again and again, I will do this. I don’t care what the arrows are. Church Gist. To think somebody was on the bridge and just scrolled through Instagram and there the Message was and it takes born again Christians to say that “he is a motivational speaker.” I am fighting a battle right here. It is not in my place to even present anything to you.
Let’s read that Hebrews 12:15 again and I want all of us to see it again. So bitterness is best killed at its root and I will tell you how. Somebody says, what of the ones we grew up with, the things…? Church Gist. See, you know sometimes I put out something, I see people come to the comment section and speak like the junior brother of Jesus – ‘You know, this life, don’t just do this. Let’s just live the life as a holy life, let’s just do this and that’ – ‘yeye!’
Do you know what rejection is? Do you know what it means to go through life and there is no one who has mirrored acceptance including your own blood? Do you know the tendencies that come with it? That in many cases, bitterness is not about forgiveness first, it is about healing first. Church Gist. You have to heal and many times, let me tell you this, to heal from the trouble a person has caused you, you have to create distance and that’s what many don’t want to hear. You have to create distance. Sometimes you have to walk away.
Let me say this, there are marriages that ‘I am sorry’ cannot repair and as a pastor, I insist that it should not be repaired with ‘I am sorry.’ There is a need for people to sit down and ask questions. Why are you doing this to your wife? Why are you doing this to your husband? Why did you say this? Why did you say that? Don’t let me jump into dysfunctionality. Church Gist. Because there are people who don’t even know what it means at all what people go through. Their emotions are numb. For your own sake move on. It is not for their sake. The one who is locked in prison, the one who is crying, the one who is shedding tears, the one who is feeling the heat is you. There are people who are too battered to even know that you are bruised. They are hurting you but they too are not fine. Their life is also meaningless. Don’t allow any root of bitterness spring up in you.
I want to give very simple but practical ways to handle bitterness.
1. Separate yourself from the cause. (Write it in capital letter) Separate yourself from the cause. There are families that you have to (as a child) travel far from. In fact, you cannot even have a good marriage if you marry from that home to your own spouse’s house – you cannot have a good marriage. Church Gist. There are places that you have to first go far (are you with me?) and be treated. If you put somebody in a cage where there are snakes and the snakes strike…you can’t treat the person in the midst of the snakes. You take the person out and remove the venom.
Love is a commandment; the distance was not specified. So there are times you have to love from afar. I love you but proximity will injure both of us. I’m not saying don’t restore fellowship. I love you sincerely but if there will be someone that will rise from this home to change the narrative, it cannot be somebody who is a part of the problem. So, there are times to detach. You know, people just talk about this, ehm…‘people sha’ – ‘mouth na’ (it’s mouth). Church Gist. You know there is a way you will comment on an issue, you have just said ‘let me go through what they went through.’ So when next we make a post about it, ‘huumm’ (you will keep quiet). You say, ‘me o, the way I am, I am wired with forgiveness.’ No. That’s natural. There are situations that will exhaust that natural one that you will now need divine strength to know what we are talking about. You say, “I’m naturally a patient person. (Laughs) That’s my nature. I don’t cause trouble.” Have you seen where they exhaust patient people? And something speaks within you after one hour, you say ‘was I the one who just…?’
When the Bible talks about Galatians 5, the fruits of the Spirit (love, patience, gentleness…) None of those things are natural fruits. It is the fruit of a matured, regenerated spirit. Church Gist. That gentleness there is not that one that ‘I don’t use to talk in class and when they write noisemakers, they don’t write my name.’ That’s not the gentleness. Are you following what I’m saying? That’s not the gentleness o. Let me not talk o.
Let me tell you this. Even Joseph that his brothers sold, the guy – the moment God lifted him, he didn’t say go and look for them not because he was a bad guy, there are times you need time and deliberate approach to heal, then there can be restoration. This kind of restoration is not a 5 seconds thing. Church Gist. And let me say this to you, if you are going through a healing process and you are sincerely praying to God for your mind and soul – to heal your emotions so that there can be restoration of affection in certain places. The fact that it is taking time doesn’t mean you are a bad person. Sometimes the depth of the injury is deep but make sure between you and God, heal. Are you following what I’m saying now?
You can imagine, let’s say for instance a father hates his daughter (hates her so bad). Now the girl is married and the hatred won’t still stop on the boy now and you are finding a way to still bring that same toxic mentality and inject it into this home and scatter it. No! No! There are times that you have to say “I love you sincerely but distance is a must.” Let me tell you something, for some of you preparing for marriage is not just preparing in character. No! Church Gist. Preparing for marriage is to treat certain family members that there is a gap. There are some of you if you don’t start building that now, your home will become worse than the dysfunctionality you grew from. It is you growing up and every blessed day of your life choosing to live by example – this is the boundary.
There are homes that mother-in-law came for ‘omugwo’ and that’s the end of peace in that home. Just one statement; they never knew peace again. There are times that distance is a must but love is compulsory. Is that okay now? Let me tell you this, don’t overrate yourself? ‘No, no! I can take it.’ No! That’s how you have been taking it and now you have gone bad. The whole thing you are taking is cancer in your heart. Church Gist. You are not fine anymore. You are not superman. Detach yourself, heal (and) come back. And there are times that where to come back to is bad so we will keep it from afar but I love you. When we get to Heaven, we will both find out how we loved each other but we cannot…are you following what I’m saying here? Forgiveness is a must but there are times you start with distance.
2. Shut the door to every unnecessary knowledge (let me use that word). There are certain knowledge that is not necessary. There are things you don’t need to know about. Apostle Lazarus you need to see, there is this man of God that hates you so much. It’s none of my business. Church Gist. What I have not really heard people say they hate is water but it will amaze you that people would say ‘I don’t just like water.’ If you don’t like water, who am I? ‘Apostle Lazarus you need to see what this person is saying about you.’ It is none of my business.
I (where was I?) think I was about to sleep at night. Which of these days? And I just said, let me just peep and see what’s going on. I saw Lazarus was trending. Laughs (Speaks in tongues) I saw some people have gone to bring ring light. Church Gist. You know in this Country, there are people who are very close to ring light. Lazarus – ring light…I said, I will not be here. I’m out. You don’t need certain knowledge. You don’t need it. You don’t need certain explanations. ‘Let me explain. No, no. Let me say my part.’ No! Even your explanation will trap you. Church Gist. Proverbs 26:20. Anybody who is looking for an avenue to say “now, we have things Lazarus has said”, wait for the next series. The problem is that you are dealing with a man who will not stop. That’s the problem.
Proverbs 26:20 (Message Translation). Sometimes you know too much and it’s a sign that you too have a problem. You are searching people’s phones to see, what have they said about me? What did they type? What is this person saying? Usually that is because your self perception is weak and your self esteem is battered. So, let me tell you this, there is a way you will feel fly when people praise you, the devil is also aware that you can be destroyed through criticism. Church Gist. ‘Oh, Apostle Lazarus – amazing man!’ It’s your business because my topic tomorrow can deal with you. So it’s your business. ‘I just like him’ – you better be careful. You better be. It’s the truth. So, even ‘me sef,’ I’m not sure of what I think about myself like that. ‘I just like him, he’s speaking so cool.’ Be careful because we are dealing with the fundamental issues and if you are found as a culprit, the message will deal with it. Oh, yes!
I have seen women hijack my teaching and used it to scold men till the day I faced women and I think it’s becoming a pattern now. Some people went to take my message and said, ‘hey, he’s talking to this political person – he said,….’ I said, it’s you people’s business. The day it will attack you too, that’s….let me tell you, any system that you see strife inside, somebody is empowering gossip. You will hear, they said this, they said that. This one said this about that.’ Church Gist. You cannot live your life like that. There will be pain in your heart. One of the things God has taught me to deal with my heart (listen to what I am saying) is to be careful what my conclusion is about people. You cannot be bitter towards a person until your conclusion is bad. So when people are doing things, the devil is trying to attack your conclusion; he’s trying to give you perspective about the person. The moment you conclude, ‘this person is bad’ – there’s nothing good the person can do again and you believe. Sometimes we believe gossip about people because the gossip seems to partner with our hatred towards them. Somebody that you already hate, they now say…I really don’t mind. You know there are people who are believing and waiting that all these ‘Sphere of Light Church – everywhere will scatter now.’ For where! Lazarus…let me tell you something, if you are going to live a life as one who carries God’s glory, you must guard your heart. The Bible said, not with a part of diligence – with all diligence. That is, it is important what enters. It is important what can form perspective. It is important what can colour your view. It is important how you see people. It is important.
There are times I wake up in the night and I keep telling myself ‘this person is a good person
– I don’t care. This person is good, I will work with this person. This person is nice. This person is kind.’ Because (listen to what I’m saying) the root (the seed) of thought is words. I need to speak to myself to hear it for my mind to know that I refuse to partner with the devil in believing that this person is bad. Before you know it, every good person that can change your life has been walked out of your life. It is a pattern. It is a pattern where you see small things…once I see small things, I’m done with you. See small things – I’m done with this person. Small thing – I am done. Church Gist. Before you know it, there is no one in your life that God can use to help you. Be careful! Just cut off, cut off! There’s something called emotional intelligence that you have to learn to build coping mechanism with people. Are you following what I’m saying here? What do I call it? Coping mechanism.
You will have to inform yourself (nobody will do it for you) that I chose to see this person as good. If not, the little party you have will be over in no time and you will wonder, ‘why can’t we greet each other again?’ Sometimes the problem is not even the issue, sometimes it is the gossip that follows. What makes many relationships irreconcilable is not even the matter. It is those who are cashing out on the matter. Those who have been waiting for this matter to come and…let me tell you this. Church Gist. Anyone who gossip to you about people, people will gossip to people about you. It is a matter of time. A gossip is a gossip. Today, they have this side, tomorrow, they have that side. Somebody said, when you sell your neighbours cheap even the buyer will not trust you. They should not trust you. Are you following what I am saying here? Somebody, maybe you just went to meet Pastor Mimi and you say ‘Pastor Mimi, you won’t believe o.’ (She) Says what? (He) Says, Apostle you need to see what we saw, ah!
Let me share a story with you. I don’t even know but I heard it, I can’t remember who shared it with me. Somebody took her husband to be (took the man) to the family house. She said, ‘this is the person I want to marry.’ Everybody celebrated, ‘oh, you are welcome our in-law bla bla.’ Later that night, her closest friend messaged the guy. ‘Are you aware that the girl you want to marry has a child? Is that the person you want to marry?’ Church Gist. The guy said, describe the child. ‘Male.’ How tall? ‘This tall.’ The guy said, ‘thank you. That’s my child.’ Who are the people you have lost in your life not because of what they did but because of what you heard from a tale bearer?
Our world…people are more brutal than the devil. God forgives but we say ‘the internet doesn’t forgive.’ Who are those on the internet? People! If God brings out somebody from night club now that they know this person as somebody who is a professional whatever you call it now and this person is out and serving God. Who are those who will first curse the people now? People! The same people who need forgiveness will not give it. God brought somebody…let me ask you a question. Let me check your weight. Church Gist. If somebody comes out now, as a pastor and says to you, ‘I used to be a gay but now I have repented.’ Can you disciple the person? And you say ‘ehm, ah! The kind of people I have discipled, the worst case I have dealt with is somebody who is dealing with immorality but this one now, ah!’ You see that now, while you need the forgiveness of God, there are people that you have also concluded that are irredeemable. It is the nature of our world and we bear tales about…there are people who right now are almost miserable not because of what they did but for rumours people are spreading about… ‘Do you know that guy? He’s such a stupid guy. You need to hear him once to know how notorious he is. He is one of the worst human beings I have met. He is…’ And this one says, “it’s true.” Check what happens to your heart when you hear people say things about other people. Check your conclusions. If your conclusions believe that those people are so without hearing their parts, (number one), that’s one of the acid tests of foolishness. It is one of the acid tests of foolishness.
There are people who want to marry…a girl, they like the girl until their friends come to say ‘that girl, we have slept with the girl.’ Then the same friend likes the girl and goes to marry the girl. Be careful of tale bearers. Be careful of getting information about things that are none of your business. There are people who are so inquisitive. Church Gist. They want to know what everybody is saying about them. What are they thinking about me? What did she say? The moment they say somebody has something to say about…there are organizations that have been destroyed with tale bearers. They employed one employee who now has rumours about everyone just so that the person can take their position.
Let me tell you this, nobody can successfully gossip in your organization until they have seen that you have low self esteem. Every gossip cash out on your low self esteem because for you to believe what they are saying, the gossip will have to first message your own ego. ‘I have seen that you are a good man sir. I have never served under a boss that is as kind as you’ – he adjusts his suit. And says if not for yesterday night, you need to hear what I heard Nike said, what they said you are. I was wondering ‘is this my boss? This is the man I have served with. I know him to be a good man.’ Church Gist. Right now the man is thinking of how to write resignation letter and tell the girl to resign for something that he has not seen the sign in her life. Are there no homes that have been destroyed because of what…you now believe an outsider over your own spouse. Somebody said, we saw your wife, this that – you say, ‘my God! I know she is a very useless woman’ and when people see that you don’t really love your spouse they would destroy both of you the more – they will. They will come in, they will ravage the both of you and mess you up. There are people who need to divide your home to spoil it. Be wary of tale bearers. When you take away wood, the fire goes out. If you remove gossip in any environment, the strife will cease. Be careful.
3: Forgive. This is a very sensitive word, to forgive.
– Everybody, lift up your right hand, say “I forgive today”
(Pastor Tomise, please come). So, what does it mean to forgive? I’m going and intentionally I push him. Church Gist. You see that now. He looks at me “Can’t you see what you have done?” I say “That’s the business of the King of your village. Go and tell the King of your village that I pushed you. Nonsense. Get out of my sight!” To look at this person and say “Just go” That’s maturity. Church Gist. It takes having a divine nature to have the opportunity to retaliate and choose to say “go.” That you forgive doesn’t mean you are weak. It means you understand something the offender doesn’t understand. Church Gist. Listen to what I’m saying, that you forgive doesn’t mean the offender has changed, that you forgive doesn’t mean the offender has repented, that you forgive doesn’t mean the offender will not repeat it.
So, I see stories like “How do I forgive a man who keeps hurting me?” Let me tell you something, if I come this first time like I did the other time and I push him, he falls. Church Gist. I come again the second time, I push him again, he falls. I come again the third time, I push him again, he falls. Who is the fool here? Him. Do you know why? You must get away from the level where you can be emotionally reached. Let me tell you what that means. What that means is, “If you will not stop doing this, I choose to outgrow you” How do I outgrow you? “Keep doing what you are doing but you will not meet the same puppet who will go back and cry. Church Gist. I now understand that you must have a problem to be like this” Somebody is talking to you and talking you down in a way that he wants to bring up pain and poison from you. You must learn to see the person (people) for who they are. “This is what you want to bring out of me because I know” if you are too much in pain, you will not see (it) beyond the smokescreen. Talking you down, “Do you know how foolish you are, how stupid you are, how condescending your behaviour is, how this, how unwise, how bla, bla, bla” “This is what you want. That I will always sit down here and sulk and cry. You want to have a man or a woman who is deranged and broken. Since you have refused to change, I get out of that zone where you can do that. Church Gist. Come back and talk again, but it’s not the same old me you will meet. You are still saying the same word…”
There comes a time that people will curse and talk people down with words. What hurts them the most is to see that you are not hurt. “Are you not the one I’m talking to? You mean all the things I’m saying, you’re looking at me as if a dog is barking” What are they saying? Church Gist. “I’m pressing a censor, trying to get a rebuttal, an emotion from you, why are you not giving me? You used to be my puppet. I know the key to press and you’ll break down”. If they will not stop pressing that key, refuse to break down. Church Gist. Every time they press it, you know what they are about to do, you know what they are about to say, toxic things, painful things. Outgrow them.
I shared my story with you. A woman who has hurt the most of my life called me for 16 minutes, was raining curses, as a teenager and was saying things. I removed the phone from my ears and placed it on my bed. Church Gist. When she was done by herself, I’m sure she must have said ” Hello, hello, hello, network” I don’t care, she ended it herself. So, I called her back after about an hour and I said to her “I know the reason why you are shouting and I know the reason why you are talking and saying the things you are saying. Church Gist. You are afraid of me” She said “What do you mean?” I said, “You are afraid. You know that the hand of God is upon my life and will lift me up and you’re afraid that I will remember all the things you have done since I was growing and I will afflict your children but you don’t know who I am. I love you and I love them with my entire life” The Woman broke down in tears. Church Gist. That is what it means to take your emotions away from reach, outgrow them and you will see that they are children.
I know with all these things, somebody is saying “But this person must answer his case before God” That is between him and God, but guess what? The same way you repented, understand, the same blood that saved you is on ground to save him and it is in God’s interest that he will not go to hell so that you will not say “I forgive you, but I’m waiting for you in eternity. Church Gist. I forgive you, but I will see you burn in hell. One day I’m going to stand at the bosom of Abraham and see him cry for water” (laughter) My brother, you have not forgiven. Church Gist. Forgiveness is not complete until you no longer want the person to go through the kind of pain you went through. It is a deep matter.
Think of the biggest pain right now in your life, all the things you remember that followed you from your childhood stage down to adulthood. The statement they said about you, how they said the shape of your head was, how they called you a witch, how they called you different names. Church Gist. You went to a pastor who prayed for your family and singled you out and said “This one amongst your children is a witch” How one particular uncle that the family trusted will open your clothes at night and try to touch you. Remember all those pains that affected the way you perceive men, the way you see life, remember, put the offenders side by side with the pain in your mind right now. You know, one thing about the mind is, whatever it is you think about, the flood of the emotion that comes with it comes also. So, you look at that person, you are boiling in your heart and saying “These years have gone by. Church Gist. Everybody still calls this person daddy but nobody knows this person is a predator” Put the person side by side now in your mind and say “Through Christ that strengthens me, I forgive you”. The person may still call you the following day and say useless child, who are you? “The version of me that will be hurt died yesterday”.
Is there forgiveness that comes with tears? I tell you, there is forgiveness that takes weeks, you will cry. So you will now begin to see how deeply rooted you are. Church Gist. Have you seen where somebody has boil and they are trying to get out the pus? That is how it is when you’re trying to get out of pain from your mind, something really bad is going on there. You say “Apostle, there are people who are not worthy of forgiveness” Church Gist. You forgive them not because they are worthy of it, you forgive them because you have to forgive them their trespasses even as your Father who is in Heaven forgives you also.
When will you be free from that prison? They are not the ones inside, it is you. Church Gist. Unfortunately, many of these people are so insensitive that every blessed day, they don’t even think about your existence and they still go about hurting others. You get out of that prison for your own sake.
Today is Mother’s Day and I’m going to take my time to pray for mothers and for potential mothers. But if you know, if you have an idea of what people have had to endure. Church Gist. A woman is there, knowing that the husband is hitting on her best friend and the best friend will still greet her knowing that the husband is trying to sleep with the younger sister and she keeps it in her heart, knowing that the man is trying to do this and she’s wondering. You say “How do I forgive such kind of man? This man has made me a bitter woman. He has made me deranged” Or a woman who has never honoured her husband not even a day in her life. Church Gist. When she looks at him, all she sees is a man she wants to hurt. He reminds her of all the pain and agony she has been through and the man is saying “If I’m your husband, where is my honour?” But honour can’t flow where there is pain.
Some of you will need to call people today and say “I forgive you” Their response is “Useless, what do you mean? See this mumu oh! You think say you dey forgive me. Who you think say you be now?” “Don’t worry, I forgive you. Just go. Church Gist. You are the victim, not me” Let go. You can never truly heal until you take that step of forgiveness and sometimes to seal it up, you have to tell the person to their face “I forgive you” Some children will have to go and look at their father and say “For the pain you have caused me and all my younger ones, for the pain you have caused my mother, I forgive you.” Some children will have to go and tell their mother, “For abandoning us, for all the things you have done, for all the things, this, this, the way you were not there, the way you hated me in particular, I forgive you” God wants them too to live a good life. Church Gist. While God is busy on your matter, He’s also busy on their matter, He’s trying to find…and many times, the fellow who began this bitterness is not even them, it’s the father of their own father and the thing has been passing from one person to another.
– Lift your right hand where you’re sitting, say “Father in the name of Jesus, from today, I forgive and I let go”
Can I give you a minute to think about someone and bring the person to the table of your heart right now? Call their names, it may cost you tears. It may be that the only way you are coping with life is never to remember these people but now, you have to. Church Gist. You have to summon them to the courts of your heart and say “Lord, I let go. I receive grace today to let go (of) this matter. To let go of this matter. I receive grace for this matter to die a natural death. I forgive.” If you feel you have to kneel down, kneel if you feel you have to. It doesn’t matter. The Church is God’s way of reaching us. It is a spiritual clinic. Church Gist. Take a posture you know you understand that reflects exactly how you feel. Some of you will have to go and burn certain journals today. The journals where you write all the things that pained you, where you chronicled all of them. You will read them again, the memories come back, some of you will have to go home, pick the journal and tear it to pieces and say “The things of the past will I remember no more. Church Gist. I let go. I choose to begin a new life today on the pill of God’s grace. I choose to begin a new life on the pill of God’s mercy. I choose to begin a new life. I let go”
In Jesus name, we prayed.
In Genesis 3, when God came down and He saw that both Adam and his wife were naked, God said “Who told you that you are naked?” That was the first abuse man was exposed to, verbal abuse. For someone to look at you and call you what you are not. Church Gist. That was what the devil did and many times, it runs deep. There are things people who now have their money, working for their money, have their family, but there are still chains, they know it is there and they know it is a product of upbringing. The girl is so fine, everybody can see it. The boy is handsome and industrious but will never believe that he is. Church Gist. When they say “My God, you look so beautiful.” She says “Really?” and in her mind, what she remembers all the time is the word of the stepmother “You look like…” (Whatever she calls her) and you look at your life and say “These people have caused me so much pain” In order for them not to have taken your past and also take the future, let them go now. They have affected the past. They’ve done strange things to you, they’ve messed up your mind. Church Gist. Don’t give them the opportunity to also affect your future (so) that your children will not see you as a bitter father or a bitter mother. How many people do you want to explain to that the reason why you are doing the things you are doing is because you are in pain? Now they look at you and they feel that you are a witch.
Are you aware there are people who will hurt you and are so manipulative to look nice to everybody? They will cause you pain and they are the ones people will call kind and nice. They will come out and they are the ones greeting everybody and you who really love people, now you are venting and bleeding, nobody believes you are kind. Church Gist. You are taking it too far. This is the real person. This is the real culprit, he will do bad things, but he knows how to manage relationships. He will greet everybody and respond to them. You have a good heart. You are loving, you are trusting, you are genuine, you are kind but when you are hurt you don’t know how far is too far. Church Gist. Everybody must be served round, but you truly love people and now, the perception of people about you is bad. That is a sign you need to change your strategy. What you are doing is not working and if you continue like that, the only narrative there will be about you is that you are a witch and there will be no one to defend you because all those who should would have been bruised by you too. Church Gist. So, what do you do? Get up, forgive. Don’t make anybody make you a fool and don’t make a fool out of yourself.
This life is not that nice, there are dangerous people around. Are you aware there are people you know in your family as bad, meanwhile, they are the nicest? Church Gist. Everybody believed this sister…and maybe the fellow is now even trusting God for a child, they say “No, no, it’s because of the wickedness” Meanwhile, this fellow is not wicked. This fellow is just pained. They have done things to her in that family that it will take growing up for anybody to understand what she has endured. Church Gist. But this is the narrative, the bad witch, the wicked woman and she has allowed it so because she is not managing the emotions well. You must forgive. You must.
Lift your hands again and say “Father, again I re-present my heart before you, help me heal, help me forgive truly. Help me. At this point, I really don’t think I have the capacity in myself to. Church Gist. At this point, I really don’t think I have the strength in myself to” Maybe you are here, somebody had dented your image, there’s been character assassination, you don’t even know where to start from and you have given up now. “Since they have destroyed my image, let me just do the bad things too. Who cares anymore?” No, no, you won’t go that route and I want us to truly pray. Church Gist. You might see a man out there who is just crying like a child, no, no, it is the move of the Spirit. Sometimes, you need to vent. Sometimes, the tears are necessary because a new beginning is here!
When you fail to forgive and you are dealing with manipulative people, you become the ultimate victim both before God and men. God knows my heart, knows how good I am. Sometimes, you too, you have…are you following what I’m saying here? Both before God and men. Church Gist. “I choose to walk in wisdom. I will not respond to this issue the way it is coming. I would be wrong. I choose to see it in a different dimension. I choose to embrace grace. I choose.”
If there are people you know, after the service, you need to call, call them. This is not an altar call but there are some of you who actually know that the strength to do what you’re doing on your seat is not there. Church Gist. I should actually be out before the Lord and cry myself out. Nobody will hold you down. “I’ve carried this pain, I’ve carried this burden, I’ve carried this anger since I can remember. I come before you Lord and I lay it down” If you know you have to be here, be here right now. Church Gist. Nobody cares about…nobody is going to hold you back. “I bring out my pain, my burden, my trouble, my trauma, the bitterness of my soul, I bring them out. I can’t go on like this anymore. I can’t. I lay them at the Altar”
—Prayers—
In Jesus mighty name we have prayed.
Let me share a story with you. I shared the story before of a man that his wife died while the marriage was still young and they had just a girl and the man vowed that he would not remarry but all the affection he had for the wife, he will channel the affection to the girl and train the girl until she becomes somebody in life. Church Gist. When the girl brought a man home to show the father that “This is the man I want to marry” The man begged him, “This girl is my life. She is my everything, don’t beat her. If she does anything to you, report her. She’s my life” and it was like the guy went on to do the exact opposite. He will beat the girl, he will bruise her face. They had to package her several times and the father held the guy in his heart and after a while, he became very sick. Church Gist. They did everything they could. They prayed, he was just swelling. They prayed, they fasted, he was swelling until a man of God prayed for him and said “There’s somebody you have not forgiven” He said, “It’s true”. He invited the daughter’s husband. Already at that point, the daughter was already back to living with him and he held the guy and he was shaking and crying. He just said one word “I forgive you” and what they noticed was that the wedding ring the old man was wearing just fell. Church Gist. What happened? In the course of holding the guy, he shrank back. The devil is so brutal that despite your pain, he can even inflict you with sickness because unforgiveness is you violating a law.
Lift your hands.
– I decree today that you receive grace.
– Every injury in that heart is healed.
– I ask that you receive divine enablement and the Spirit of boldness to let go of this deepest issue in your heart.
– That the knowledge of God that passes understanding will keep you and His grace will preserve you.
– He will help your heart and mind and you will receive perfect healing in the name of Jesus.
– I ask that anything that you are currently suffering as a result of what has been done against you, the Lord Himself will help you.
– He will help you recover in totality in the name of Jesus.
– It is done in Jesus mighty name.
– It is done!
Whatever step you have to take from here, as the Lord leads you, go ahead and do it.
– Thank you, Jesus!
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