Pastor Williams F Kumuyi in the MONDAY BIBLE at the DEEPER LIFE BIBLE CHURCH, AKURE, ONDO STATE, NIGERIA
I welcome everyone to our Bible Study tonight in Jesus name. For those of us in the states in Nigeria, and in all the countries in Africa and beyond, for those who are online and anywhere in the world, I want to tell you that we are in Ondo State at this time for our Bible Study, and it is a wonderful time to be here.
You need to pay attention to what we are learning tonight because even though it appears straightforward and simple, and we seem to already know it, I believe the Lord will reveal greater and mightier things to everyone of us tonight in Jesus name. Amen.
BELIEVERS’ COMMITMENT TO GOD’S UNCHANGEABLE PRECEPTS IN MARRIAGE
TEXT: I CORINTHIANS 7:1-11
- 1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
- 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
- 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
- 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
- 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
- 6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
- 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
- 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
- 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
- 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
- 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
The topic tonight is BELIEVERS’ COMMITMENT TO GOD’S UNCHANGEABLE PRECEPTS IN MARRIAGE. I pick a word from our text for you to understand what we are saying. The word is, ‘unchangeable’. God is unchangeable, He said, “I am God, I change not”. This tells us that everything He said, or put in place remains unchanged and unchangeable. Why? Because He is God. Before the creation of the world, He has been. From all eternity, He is God. Whatever He says remains unchangeable.
The following remain unchangeable about God:
- His Precepts in Marriage
- The Power of His Majesty
And anything connected with God, every time we are thinking about Him, we must remember the power of His majesty. - The Possibility of His Manifestation
God manifests Himself in the past, present, and in future. Any time you are thinking about God, always remember that any subject connected with Him remains unchangeable. - The Prophecy of His Mystery
His mysteries are unchangeable as well as His declaration on marriage. In view of this, anytime you see the prophecies of God in the scriptures, you are very careful not to touch or change them by removing or adding. - The Provision of the Messiah
His provision of the Messiah for our redemption is unchangeable. - The Promises in His Message
Whenever you see His promises in the Bible, know that they remain unchangeable. - The performance of His mercy
He is a merciful and faithful God, and His mercy remains unchanging. - His Proclamations through His Messengers in the Old and New Covenant remain unchanging until this day.
As said earlier, God’s precept on marriage remains unchanging. Note that whenever you think about God, or anything that concerns Him, you are not assuming that times have changed and so He has changed. He is God, He changes not, that is why the children of Israel were not consumed. Because of His unchanging power, He will preserve your life, marriage and family. Everything He has declared about you He will bring to pass.
A. GOD’S UNCHANGEABLE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE. I Corinthians 7:1-2
God Himself instituted marriage. Adam did not ask for a wife, but God saw the need by Himself. The churches in Corinth, Rome and Ephesus needed not to write to Paul about marriage, but by inspiration and instruction of God, he had to write to them about it.
- The Purpose Of Marriage
(I Corinthians 7:1-2; Genesis 2:18-24; 1:27-28; Malachi 2:14-16; I Peter 3:1,7)
God instituted marriage to preserve purity in the church, community and the world. To avoid sinning, the works of the flesh, immorality, and to prevent men from living like animals.
Nobody twisted the hands of God to institute marriage, but He did it of His own volition. He was the One who made Eve for Adam, and since then, He has made wives for men.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they two shall be one flesh”. This did not apply to Adam and Eve because they both did not have mother and father, but it is for their offspring and generations after them. You, me and everyone alive today, who has parents. The word ‘cleave’ means to be joined together so that any separation will destroy both persons.
Another purpose for marriage is to provide help, support, and to have helpers. It is not good for a man to be alone. God created man in His own image. Man was created holy, and righteous.
Sanctification, Christian experiences, walking in the righteousness of God do not cancel marriage. God created man in His own image: a man and a woman, male and female. The original plan and purpose of God is one man to one woman. One husband to one wife.
If it is wrong for a woman to have two husbands, it is also wrong for the man to have more than one wife. It is not approved before whoever, in any church, be it Deeper Life, or any other church. God made one woman for one man, this is how it will continue to be. I pray that you, your family or extended family will not change the word of God in Jesus name.
- The Preparation For Marriage
(Proverbs 18:22; Psalm 37:4-7; John 7:17; I John 3:22; 5:14-15)
In any good thing you need to do — marriage, family is good — you need to have plans, projects and goals to meet. If you don’t prepare properly, how will you have the best from God? You have to seek before you find, ask before it is given unto you, and you have to knock before the door is opened to you. If you ask for anything from your earthly father, will he not give you good things? How much more your Heavenly Father and Creator?
You must not wait till you want to get married before you start praying. You must have prayed for salvation and other Christian experiences before you get to the aspect of marriage. You must first have a good relationship with God and have delight in the things that make Him happy before you will be able to ask for His will in marriage. May God make us delight in Him at all times in Jesus name.
- The Permanence Of Marriage
(Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:7-12; Romans 7:2-3; I Corinthians 7:39; Ephesians 5:31-33)
What God wants is that marriage will be permanent. God gave Eve to Adam and conducted the wedding Himself by bringing Eve to Adam and joining them together. In the next chapter, they both backslid when Eve ate and also gave Adam the forbidden fruit. God called and asked him where he was, and he said he was naked. Then He asked him how he happened to know he was naked. He began to blame the woman, while the woman blamed the snake.
Now take note, though the woman erred and made the man to sin, God did not dissolve the marriage or find an alternative wife for Adam. There is nothing a woman can do today that can be as grievous as what Eve did by bringing calamity, judgment and a curse upon humanity, yet, she was not changed or replaced. God is not in the business of dissolving marriages. You must not allow anyone — your family, relations, in laws — to put your union asunder.
When Jesus was in the world, the Pharisees who were having issues in their homes, who were not having enough fulfillment in their marriages came to Jesus to ask if they could put away their wives. Jesus asked them what the scriptures said. He did not give them go-ahead to put away their wives.
Whenever there are issues in your marriage, you must go to the beginning. Whatever God has joined together, no one has the right or power to put it asunder.
I pray that your home will not scatter, you will not scatter your family, you will not call supposed friends and family members to come and scatter your family and drive away your spouse for you. The blessing of God will be permanent in your life. The wife is a good thing and a favour from God, you will not allow the devil to take it away from you in Jesus name.
B. GRACIOUS UNPRETENTIOUS INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE. I Corinthians 7:3-9
God planned that there will be unpretentious, transparent, non-hypocritical, faithful, satisfying, and fulfilling intimacy in marriage. God’s intention is that in marriage, there will be grace, love, understanding and interdependence between man and woman.
vs 3. The wife is not a slave, a co-tenant, a neighbour, a friend or a live-in partner who is limited to a certain part of your properties or a section of your life. The Bible says the husband should render due benevolence to the wife. So also the wife should render to the husband. He is not a co-tenant, a friend, a co-worker or just a breadwinner to take care of the wife and children. Love your spouse the way you love yourself.
Your body is the most precious possession you have, that is why you take good care of it. It is more precious than the house and the car. But as precious as it is, the husband has power over the wife’s body. This is the same with the husband’s body. If this applies to the body, how much less ordinary properties? You must not have a possessive attitude by not wanting your spouse to touch your properties: e.g. phone, building, vehicles, certificates, salary, bank, accounts, etc. You don’t have power over any of these things.
If you remove ‘de’ from ‘defraud’, you have the word ‘fraud’. If you cheat on your husband or wife, you have committed fraud. And you have no moral right to condemn unbelievers who commit one fraud or the other in the world. They don’t have salvation, grace, Bible as a standard to walk by, they don’t claim to be deeper, all of what you claim.
As a couple, if you want to go into a spiritual exercise for prolonged days, you must let your spouse know. You must never agree with anyone outside the home concerning going on any spiritual exercise before telling your spouse. You cannot have a private, personal, protected decision behind your spouse. If you keep secrets from your husband, and you respect other people outside the home more than your spouse, you are defrauding them.
When you don’t have time to answer your wife’s questions, you are defrauding her. If you have been doing this, today is a day of repentance from fraud, hypocrisy and being so hard on your spouse, otherwise, you can miss heaven. You have to repent today and allow the Bible studies you are hearing to have impact on your life.
There are self-deceivers. They say they are no longer interested in intimacy. This is not right, because God who created and gave us His word has also put all those needs and desires in us. You must come together again from time to time. May you be obedient to the word of God.
I pray there will be no crack in the walls of your home wherein satanic lizards can come in. Anytime there is a crack in the home, don’t get involved and carried away by spiritual activities, church programmes, prayer vigils, etc. First things first, take time to fix the cracks before you go anywhere, and with the approval of your spouse and the Lord will prosper your way.
- Reciprocal Devotion In Marriage
(I Corinthians 7:3-5; Ephesians 5:33; I Peter 3:1-12; Matthew 7:12; James 2:8)
Do to your wife as you will want her to do to you. Every man is commanded to love his wife, no matter who she is. Disobeying God is punishing Him for the offenses of your wife. God has spoken and you have no choice than to obey. Obey God, love your wife, no matter what she does.
Take note that Adam continued to love Eve after the fall. He was not bitter towards her, neither did he push her away from him. Rather, he honoured her by calling her the Mother of all Living. Neither did Eve withdraw from Adam, claiming not to be good enough for her husband.
If you have made a mistake, apologize and move on together in the reciprocal love and devotion which will help you to keep together as husband and wife as commanded by God. May God help you so that you will not just be Bible readers and learners but you will have the deeper life which people know us for, which will be that deep understanding and practice of the word in every area of your lives, family and members in Jesus name.
I Peter 3:1. A wife who is married to an unbelieving husband must live an exemplary life. Unfortunately, some Christian wives in this situation sometimes think that they are exempted from obeying their husbands because they are not born again. They would rather obey their pastors, or fathers in the Lord. This is wrong because the command to obey is unconditional. Don’t say you don’t want to go to hell because of another man, you must understand that you will end up in hell fire if you don’t obey God. The wife must obey and submit to her husband, as this will help him to come to the Lord and become born again.
This is applicable to children who became wayward when they got to school or through other means. Some parents abandon their errant children and focus on working for God. They don’t want to lose their places in the church, they don’t want the pastor to be offended with them. This is not right or wise. It is your behavior and character that will win your children over to the Lord. May you have wisdom to attend to all of these things in Jesus name.
When the Bible said that the husbands should dwell with their wives according to knowledge. Is it the knowledge of Mathematics or science, chemistry or political science? No. It is the knowledge of who a woman is: her weakness, aay of thinking and disposition as a woman and wife, the knowledge of what will jolt or destabilize her.
Some husbands are super-spiritual and no matter what problem their wives are going through, they will not bother to pay attention. They bury their heads in the Bible and even when the wives are crying, they condemn them as not having enough faith or prosper understanding of the Bible. That is not knowledge.
“Giving honour to your wife”. Some men can dishonour their wives in the presence of their children and outsiders, in-laws, and friends while they claim to be saved, born again and possess hyper-level of sanctification. Sanctification will change your nature and disposition. From today, you will give honour to your wife and everyone will see it. Outsiders must not make you dishonour your wife, they must not make you look down on her or criticize her dressing or ways of life. It is none of their business.
No matter the prayers you pray, or the spiritual exercise you engage in, none of them will be acceptable if you leave a bitter and sorrowful woman at home. First of all rectify and settle the home and your prayer will not be hindered in Jesus name.
- Required Discernment With Maturity
(I Corinthians 7:6-8,25; Matthew 19:11-12; Romans 12:2-3; Psalm 32:8)
Every word of God is given by inspiration. Whenever Apostle Paul wrote or said something which he did not receive directly from God, he would indicate it clearly. How wonderful it will be if all preachers could do this! If they take the word of God as untouchable but indicate clearly to the people if what they are preaching is from their own hearts.
Don’t say you are going to follow Paul’s example by not marrying when you do not have the grace and then you miss heaven. It is better to marry than to burn. This is why it is necessary to have the spirit of discernment with maturity. Also, choose whom you listen to and follow. Understand when a minister is preaching something from the word of God and when he is preaching something private and personal.
- Responsible Decision For Marriage
(I Corinthians 7:9; I Timothy 5:11-14; Hebrews 13:4; I Timothy 4:1-3,6; I Corinthians 7:2)
My brother, you are responsible for whatever decisions you make. As a widower, people may praise you that you are more devoted and doing much more for God after the demise of your wife, don’t pretend and please people openly and then live a defeated life privately and suffer when you are alone. It is also possible that you have checked up with some people who are pretending that they are okay and will not venture into remarriage and you now decided to copy them when you know you are dying of loneliness.
All the good opinion of people will not take you to heaven but the quality of your private and your victorious life. If you cannot cope, remarry so that you will not go to hell fire. It is better to marry than to burn. You were not born again for any brother or sister. Never ever let your life be controlled or directed by anyone. Let your life be approved by God so that when you go home, it will be expressly to heaven, and without any hindrance.
C. GOD’S UNCHALLENGEABLE INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE MARRIED. I Corinthians 7:10-11
God’s instructions concerning marriage are those which no one can challenge, modify or improve upon. You might be intelligent, can you compare your intelligence with that or God? You might have read wide, yet you cannot challenge, change or improve upon His instructions on marriage.
Apostle Paul here gave the command of God that the wife must not depart from her husband, no matter what she is going through there. Be careful of the kind of counsel you give or take from people when it comes to marriage. Neither should the husband go away from his wife, God wants couples to be together till the end.
- God-given Irreversible Command From The Past
(I Corinthians 7:10; Malachi 2:14-16; Deuteronomy 4:2; 12:32; Revelation 22:18-19)
Sister, as a child of God, don’t say you know yourself, and people know you that whenever you decide, no one can change your mind, and it is finished. Well, you might just finish your getting to heaven too. Let the word of God transform your life. Do not depart from your husband. May God give you the grace to soften and yield to the will of God in Jesus name.
- God-guarded Irrevocable Command Till The Present
(I Corinthians 7:11a; Jeremiah 3:20-22; II Corinthians 5:18-19; Matthew 18:21-22; Ephesians 5:30-32)
If you have left your spouse and you are feeling inadequate, don’t say you cannot apologize or that you cannot go back directly to your husband, and you are sending people to indirectly talk to your him to call you back. That is pride. Swallow your pride and go back to your husband, kneel down and beg him and make things up to him. That is the way of the Lord. I pray that humility and obedience to the word of God will be given to you all in Jesus name.
- God-governed Irrefutable Command For Posterity
(I Corinthians 7:11b; Psalm 33:11; 89:34; 119:89-90; I Peter 1:25)
Some Christian men have the tendency to behave like the men from their village. For some men, in their family or village, the men are militant, strong and beat their wives. They even sometimes strip them naked.
At times, it is their immediate family, their father who constantly fight with their mothers over little, little things and they must get to the village chief before peace is restored. They reject food and even threaten that the wife should pack out if she does not want to die. Some Christians men also copy and behave this way. Where is the salvation and sanctification you claim to have? Where is the deeper life you testified about or the impact of the Bible you are carrying? Here is the word of God tonight which you must obey.
The grace to follow and abide by the word, God will grant unto you all in Jesus name. You will be a model wife, husband and family. May it never be that people from outside will come in to settle quarrels between you and your spouse. When neighbours are coming to settle quarrel for believers, then there is something seriously wrong. God will help you so that your life, family and comportment will be according to the teaching of the word of God in Jesus name.
- Marriage is unchangeable, your miracles, mercy, prayers, and joy are unchangeable,
- This new year, something new in every life and family,
- Where you have been to tolerating and managing yourselves, no more management. This year, something new, great, enviable the Lord will grant to every family in Jesus name.
- New life, new power, new breakthrough, new love.
Rise up and take everything to God in prayer.
#Prayer:
- Pray for yourself concerning all that you have heard tonight. Pray that God will heal your family.
- Pray that the depth of the wisdom and inspiration of our Pastor in the word of God will never run dry. More grace to him in Jesus name 🙏🏽
Transcribed by Kemisola Omoyiola
#KemisolaNotes (MBS11012021(006)
