HOW GOD DELIVERED ME FROM THE WEB OF PORNOGRAPHY
Emmanuel Evbuoma
(Emmanuella Mike-Bamiloye’s Twin Brother)
Addicted to pornography for 13 years, though he was active in Church activities: he was in the Choir and an executive in the Students’ Fellowship during his undergraduate study.
- It started from a discussion in S.S.1, 2006 when a site was mentioned in passing.
- When I got home, seated in my Mom’s office with the internet and alone with the computer, that (the website) came to mind and that was …The unravelling of a new world entirely, that I would end up suffering from, for over 13 years.
- When it was time for God to deal with it, He stripped me of everything: I lost my job, almost everything around me stopped working.
Here is an excerpt of the interview Emmanuel Evbuoma had with Darasimi Mike-Bamiloye (now Darasimi Oyor) and Ella Mike-Bamiloye in December 2019 where he spoke about his addiction to pornography and how he overcame it.
Emmanuel: Something has come to mind, particularly recently…she (my twin sister) is always getting DMs (direct messages) and people are talking about their issues; something that I have seen a lot is addiction…there have been things about addictions and I realised that when it comes to addictions, it is something that we have not paid so much attention to or we don’t seem to pay so much attention to it.
Addictions are like sickness, just like a drug addiction, it needs to be addressed because there is a deficiency of something possibly the secretion of a hormone in the body and what the body secretes is not enough for what the body needs so there is a craving for more. It is the same thing in our souls: there is a deficiency of something and most times, there is an addiction that tries to cover up for that.
We were watching ‘Donut Man’ last night and he talked about how there is a donut and the hole in the donut is the deficiency in the heart of man that ONLY CHRIST can fill. When it comes to addiction such as pornography, masturbation, people don’t tend to take them very seriously.
I personally have my testimony: my battles with that and how God delivered me. I knew I was caught in the web of porn (pornography) for a long time, for years actually. I tried to address it in different ways: I prayed about it, I fasted about it, I went for deliverance. I told my father one day, “Daddy, I think I need deliverance.”
Emmanuella: And our father is a Deliverance Minister.
Emmanuel: It appeared that I was not demon possessed. I just lacked this deficiency. It was there for a while and it was something that I needed to address. When God had my time, God really had my time. I will just share the testimony about how God delivered me because I know that there are people who are going through that; also need to be delivered and you need to address it because just as a quick digression: I think this is good that this is coming at this period, towards the end of December because it is the dawn of a new decade. It is the dawn of a new year and I believe that this 2020 is very spectacular in the Kingdom of God, spectacular in the Kingdom of darkness, spectacular in the country, in almost a lot of things and it is important for us to be sensitive. There are so many things that easily beset us and it is time for us to lay those things aside and run. I believe that this year coming, a lot of people are going to make progress spiritually and these things need to drop. I am happy that this is coming now, I am happy that this has been coming in recent times: questions on addictions…
HOW MY ADDICTION TO PORNOGRAPHY STARTED:
For me, how it happened was being in a wrong company as they say, “evil communication corrupts good manners.” I remember vividly sometime in S.S 1 in 2006, we were just having some frivolous discussion with young guys in school and they mentioned one site in passing. When I got home, seated in my Mom’s office with the internet and alone with the computer, that (the website) came to mind and that was the portal to a new world.
There are so many lessons in the sense that it is always good to fill your mind with things that are edifying. It is always good never to be idle.
Basically, it came to mind and that was the unravelling of a new world entirely that I would end up suffering from, for over 13 years. When it was time for God to deal with it, I lost my job, almost everything around me stopped working. Just a bit of digression: sometimes when things are happening in life, we think that we are being affected by the devil. I don’t know but there are some certain circumstances that are orchestrated by God so that He can help us, because it is really about God’s timing. So the time that I stopped working, for that period…, I had to move out of the house I was living in. Basically, God wanted to strip me off everything so that I will have time, so I won’t have an excuse not to focus on God.
God stripped me off everything, it was now time for me to be going for meetings, going to Church, going for fellowships. I was overwhelmed at myself…at some point, it became every single day of the week. I could count that every day of the week, I was either at a meeting or a programme and I believe that was where God strengthened me and built me.
I remember there was a friend of mine that God used to reach out to me. He asked me a question, out of the blues, he just asked me, “Am I struggling with Porn?” I couldn’t answer that question because there was so much shame in it. I just said, “Yes”. He introduced me to someone who I was always talking to, a Pastor, who was always counselling me, who held me accountable for my actions.
He told me that if it happened, I should come back and talk to him. I felt there was so much shame in it, I didn’t want to talk but he always welcomed me to talk about it because he had gone through it in the past and God had helped him. Over time, I kept going for meetings, I kept hearing the Word of God and I realised that the only way to let go, to lose many of these addictions is to grow spiritually.
I remember the day: I was still struggling within that period and there was a weekend that I had a bout of porn. That weekend I was speaking to the Pastor, he told me, he felt that I need a breakthrough spiritually and that was what tipped me over. That was how it just ended mysteriously. I remember I had a dream that night, that I was struggling with a very hideous beast, ‘medusa looking like’ beast in my dream. It was in a house, it wanted to be in the shadows, I struggled to bring it out to the light and I brought it out to the light: it just let out a loud shriek, died and that was the end.
That was deliverance from the nature. There had to be work done. It is not that you just get delivered from it and you don’t have urges or you don’t have attractions or struggles. When God delivered me, I realised there was purity. I saw purity for the first time and it was beautiful. I realised that many of these things that God put in our bodies, many of these urges that we have, God puts them there for a reason. There is purity to everything. I realised that purity was very important.
Irrespective of the urges, there was still a fight that needed to be fought. Fighting that fight was abstaining from things, putting principles in place, taking my eyes off things. With time, God helped me. I am just telling all these things because I feel that, I know there are a lot of brothers out there, sisters out there who are struggling with these things and they need to let go of that, they need to fight it. There is a victory we already have in Christ but we also need to walk in the reality of that victory. We also need to do our part, we also need to fight the good fight of faith and lay hold of eternal life.
I believe that breaking free from all these addictions help us to fellowship with God better. It helps our mind in relating with other people, relating with the opposite sex, in talking to God and in our sense of wellbeing as Christians; it helps us, I believe this is important
Darasimi: I am so glad that this is coming out because there are so many people that believe it is impossible to break free. They have tried everything…they have gone to meet Psychologists. They’ve given up, they believe it is impossible.
Emmanuel: I used to believe it was impossible (to break free from my addiction). God categorically told me that if I didn’t deal with that, I was going to have issues in marriage. God told me that thing twice; again recently. The second time when He (God) said it, it was in another way: He said, “if you don’t learn to take a stand, then you can’t take a stand to love your wife in marriage.”
I have come to realise that it (marriage) is not really about those emotions and feelings. It is really about the decision to forsake all others, to just be there, irrespective, you are there: that’s your decision, you made that decision. If I couldn’t take a stand against immorality, if I couldn’t take a stand against lust, if I couldn’t take a stand to vow for God, to stand for God, then it would be hard to take a vow to stand for my wife, to love her when I am married. I’m really glad that God brought this at a time He did, how He has helped me to see light and He has helped me to work on things. There is so much strength in me now to move forward.
PS: For people struggling with addictions, it is possible to break free from them, for with God all things are possible. However, some kinds might need you to seek God; fast and pray; grow spiritually and seek Godly counsel.
“And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.” – Matthew 17:20-21
“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:8-9
Sources: True Talk with Ella’s Twin Brother, Emmanuel Evbuoma; Church Gist Archives
#WinningWednesday
#OvercomingAddiction
#Pornography
#ChurchGist
