THAT WILL BE THE WRONG ASSUMPTION.

UNTIL THERE IS A LEAVING, THERE CAN BE NO CLEAVING.

AVOID THE INVOLVEMENT OR OVER INVOLVEMENT OF THIRD PARTIES IN RELATIONSHIPS.

UNDERSTAND THE PERSON YOU ARE MARRIED TO AND THEN, UNDERSTAND THEIR EXPRESSIONS AND ACCEPT THEIR EXPRESSIONS WITHOUT NECESSARILY COMPARING THEM WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.

STOP COMPARING YOUR WIFE OR YOUR HUSBAND WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

DON’T USE ANOTHER PERSON’S BEHAVIOUR AS A BASIS TO LOOK DOWN OR RATE YOUR SPOUSE.

-Pastor Paul Enenche on ‘MARITAL AND RELATIONSHIP WISDOM’ (Part 3)
First Service, Dunamis International Gospel Centre.

Father, we give You the praise, Father, we give You the honour, Father, we give You the adoration. Blessed be Your name, honour to Your name, thank You for the privilege of knowing you and thank You for the privilege of relationship, be thou glorified in Jesus precious name.

I welcome everyone here this morning in the precious name of Jesus Christ. We have experienced so much of God’s help in the last few days, from Tuesday, explosive manifestation of God’s power and the Worship and the Wonders Night, just too explosive. Church Gist. It was encountering and experiencing the God of the New Beginnings and He confirmed that by giving us a brand new born baby in that vigil, to confirm that, that theme was not just a good theme, but a God-theme, God within it and we are in for a new beginning.

We are going to finish up the Marital And Relationship Wisdom this morning and then, possibly step into Financial Wisdom, that is the subject for today. Church Gist. Last week, we identified up to seven wisdom keys for successful marriage in the first service and then, we will take it from there this morning.
The wisdom for Marital Relationship:
1). Trust the Lord to guide you into the right relationship.
2). Marry someone who truly loves and values you as a person, not someone who is in love with something you have.
3). Never marry anyone who is marrying your money, property, position or influence.
4). Be ready to love unconditionally and forgive continually.
5). Be committed to the fulfillment and satisfaction of your spouse, not just your own satisfaction.
6). Maintain trust at all cost because we know that trust is the bedrock of marriage.
7). Lubricate your relationship with joy and merriment.

8). Handle misunderstandings immediately. If the marriage is to be successful and relationship is to be successful, handle misunderstandings immediately. Clear the air immediately (Ephesians 4:26-27).

When misunderstandings are not handled immediately, place is given to the devil. Don’t let misunderstandings linger or fester, so it doesn’t grow into something else. When misunderstandings are allowed to linger, they grow into something else. Church Gist. The easiest way to give room to the devil is to allow misunderstandings to persist. You have situations where people are not talking to each other for days, that is an abomination. That is a relationship that is doomed to be destroyed.

9). Avoid the involvement or over involvement of third parties in relationships (Genesis 2:24-25). The man shall leave and cleave; until there is a leaving, there can be no cleaving. It doesn’t matter whether it is family, it doesn’t matter whether there are friends; over involvement of third parties.

There are people who will sit their wives down in front of their friends, to dress them down. Sit their wives down in front of their mother and father, to dress them down. That is signature for destruction and I want to caution very young families, when you get married newly; young man and woman, bringing relations to live with you is not good idea as a foundation. Church Gist. It is not a good idea at all. That is the time to know your wife, that is the time for your wife to know you, that is the time for relationship to bond. Then, a cousin is there, a junior sister or a junior brother is there; it is signature for certain disasters, because before you know it, your brother or your sister is finding fault with your wife or your husband and vice versa – it is not good idea. They can be assisted with time and then, when you bond a little bit, then you can have such and especially, if there are people that will come for a season.

I am talking from over twenty something years of personal experience and years of counseling homes and families. Some, it is those strangers that cause the highest tension between the man and his wife. Avoid over involvement of third parties in relationships, especially when it bothers on settling discourse.

Third party involvement can happen when challenge in relationship becomes life threatening, so I can make a balance. For example, your husband wants to kill you, your wife wants to kill you or vice versa, or the tension is intractable, then your mother and father and loved ones must know that something is happening that is not correct.

10). Remain committed to knowing your spouse and growing in relationship. Never assume that you know everything about who you married, that will be the wrong assumption. Church Gist. You don’t really know the person fully, no matter how long the courtship is or was, there are things you will keep on knowing about them as you grow (Ecclesiastes 9:10).

Be committed with all your mind and strength to knowing your spouse and growing in relationship.

11). Don’t compare your spouse with another. Stop comparing your wife or your husband with other people (2 Corinthians 10:12).

Stop comparing your spouse with another, do you know why? People are different, it is not possible for any two people to be exactly the same, even brothers of the same mother, sister of the same mother and father are different. Even identical twins, they have a different thumbprint. Don’t use another person’s behaviour as a basis to look down or rate your spouse. Once you have agreed to marry a person, accept their individuality. You can learn from people, learn from the relationship of people, learn from how this man, and I think if there’s anybody to compare with, maybe as a woman, you compare yourself with the other woman’s behaviour, so you can behave better, if that is the comparison you want and as a man, how good the man is taking care of his wife, you learn from that man and take care of your wife like that. But where you have a woman telling you, this is what my husband does for me and then, you go and put your husband under pressure, that this is what my friend’s husband is doing for her and vice versa, then you are set for destruction in that relationship and I believe, the Lord will help us in Jesus’ name.

One woman said to the husband to be telling her some things and those kind of things and the man said, “I am not used to that kind of thing. I can do everything but, the thing you are asking me to say and those kind of things, I am not used to it. I can’t talk like that.” The truth is, no matter how hard you try, there are things you can’t force some people to do. Church Gist. Their love is intact, they are genuine in the fact that, they love their wives, but you want them to communicate that love in certain ways, they will not be able. My wife used to teach on love languages and she said the language of love for people are different. There are people who express love in acts of service, there are people who express love in quality times spent. There are people who express love in the words of communication, there are those who express their love in the giving of gifts and so on. So, there are different expressions of love.

Now, the man is serving you and the man is giving you all the things he wants to give you and you are expecting him to express it in some other ways that he is not used to, it will be very difficult. Church Gist. So, let’s just understand the person you are married to and then, understand their expressions and accept their expressions without necessarily comparing the man with somebody else.

There are men who will go on shopping with their wives and their wives are so excited that the man went on shopping and they went everywhere; will you buy this? No!
Will you buy that? Yes!
And then, they are moving, but if you put me in that condition, you are on your own. I can’t follow you for shopping. That is not my realm. I will do many things, but go for shopping with you? I will be looking at time. So, there are different expressions and just ensure that you don’t compare yourself with somebody and the Lord bless you in Jesus’ name.

Stand up on your feet and lift up your voice and say, Father, thank You for Your Word to me today. I receive the grace to have a relationship that is great for myself, my loved ones, my children and my family. Thank you Master, in Jesus precious name.

DrPastorPaulEnenche

DrBeckyPaulEnenche

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