Relationship Tuesday

10 TIPS TO AVOID: FOR COUPLES IN MINISTRY
Bishop Okwudili Eze

1. Avoid quarrelling over Church money, leadership and properties:
   It is expedient that couples should not quarrel over Church money, leadership and
   properties. They should understand that church money and property belongs to God,
   not to them. They must learn to separate what belongs to them from what belongs to
   God.
2. They should not impose themselves into each other’s ministry:
   Maybe it is the husband that was called into Ministry, but he is not allowing the
   wife to function in the Ministry. The husband must find out what the wife has been called to do. God has a place for her in Ministry, in whatever ways. If it is the wife that is called, she should not relegate the husband. None should be jealous of the other. It is wrong. We have all been given grace in measure.
3. The wife or husband’s refusal to perform their conjugal right because of stress or exhaustion from Ministry:
   The fact that one or both of the couple are tired does not mean that they should use that to defraud the other of their right. It is wrong to deny each other of this right in marriage. Do not allow stress in Ministry to destroy your marriage. Look for a way
   out.
   Eat well and rest to regain strength to meet your conjugal obligation.
4. Handling the Church as personal enterprise and siphoning Church money without any record:
   It is important that ministerial couple should not take the Church as their personal
   property. If it is the Church of God, then do not handle it as your personal property.
   We are all accountable to God.
5. Avoid over-commitment to Ministry at the expense of your children and
   marriage:
   “For it was little which thou hadst before I came, and it is now increased unto a multitude; and the Lord hath blessed thee since my coming: and now when shall I provide for mine own house also?”

• Genesis 30:30

1. Assume that a partner’s growth is your personal growth:
   No spouse should assume that his or her spouse’s growth is his or her own
   growth. Everybody needs to grow by making conscious effort. Encourage your spouse
   to grow.
2. Avoid distrust:
   This is very terrible. Couples must learn to trust each other.
3. Avoid taking up each other’s ministerial call (1 Corinthians 7:20, 24):
   Some members may never call or discuss their matters if there is no confidentiality talking to you.
4. Assuming that a partner’s relationship is equivalent to a personal relationship with God: The fact that your spouse is close to God does not mean that you are close to God.

Take a decision to improve on your knowledge of God, don’t ever use family issues or
ministerial matters as an excuse to be stagnated in your pursuit of God. Every other
thing depends on your ability to succeed in God.

10. Avoid giving room to the devil by not staying together or wishing that another Minister was your spouse.

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